Umberdog wrote: 
Exactly

 islander wrote: 
Well, you had a much different upbringing than I had. Did your parents say "Well, you really fucked up in that hockey game today! What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?"

 hippiechick wrote: 
The trick is to not label anyone anything at all. No label can ever define what we are. Labels only serve to instill a sense of expectation and/or insecurity.

Labels are very tricky.

Our employer health care system ALONE is a war on happiness and/or the chance to succeed or fail especially at entrepreneurship.

Americans are virtually trapped in their jobs because they are afraid if they quit to try to start their own business they will not only lose their health care but they wont be able to get insurance at all because they might have a pre-existing condition.  And youll find out how UN- happy you are when you are diagnosed with something serious and have no health insurance to get adequate treatment.  

One million Americans go broke from medical bills every year and 50,000 Americans die every year from lack of insurance. THAT is class warfare. 
 

 hippiechick wrote: 
I'm able to learn from failures without worrying about the semantics attached.  Part of that ability comes from lots of failure in my childhood (and stitches from PeeWee Hockey). When I lost I was taught that my parents still loved me, the sun came up the next day and I'd have another chance. When I met the challenges I won, and my parents still loved me an the next day was still full of challenge.  The pizza at pizza hut after the game tasted the same win or lose, and we eventually figured out that showing up for practice was as important as showing up for the game. All of this translated very well into my adult world.

 islander wrote: 
Did you learn something? Then you didn't fail. If you do not label events as "good" or "bad" or "failure" or even "success" it becomes an entirely different event and leaves space for new possibilities.

 hippiechick wrote: 
Why not?  They are what they are. Choosing labels arbitrarily to try and soften the feel also diminishes the lessons available.  The whole point is to learn that failing or losing isn't the end, and neither is wining. 

 buzz wrote: 
can i pull a structured default and let government take care of me?

where do i sign up?

do i need to have children out of wedlock?

start a green company and get a lobbyist?

please advise

 islander wrote: 
The secret is to not label them "failures."

 kurtster wrote: 
It's not that they are not PC, they are violent and harmful. Maybe you weren't one of those who would get blasted with a ball by the asshole boys in the class. And you didn't raise kids either, right?

Again, there is nothing wrong with physical competition, if there are rules, if the children are mature enough and have the skills, and the children are in agreement. And mental competition is fine too, for the same reasons. Bt my daughter did not enjoy playing board games, so I certainly never made her.

None of this has anything to do with happiness, btw.

 

 buzz wrote: 
Where do I send the list of names to be taken care of?  They can just invoice me.

 hippiechick wrote: 
Not genetically linked ones. Do you think that somehow negates my impact on the subject?  I deal with a lot of young adults in the workplace, and I see the outcome of these "no one loses" tactics, they don't serve people well long term.

 Umberdog wrote: 
Even successful people often fail. The way they handle it is often part of why they are successful. I've learned far more from my failures than I have from my successes. 

 islander wrote: 
dont be silly. if they fail, they'll pout and the government will take of them. hush now and fork over your fair share.

 hippiechick wrote: 
What about things like Candyland and Chutes and Ladders ?  There is winning and losing involved.  There is more than just physical competition.  Checkers, Chess, debating clubs.  Competition involves rules, turn taking, sharing and dealing with emotions.  In Candyland, adults and children alike can play in the same game at the same time.

But more to your thoughts, playground games like Dodgeball are no longer allowed because its not PC and too many people 'lose' because not all possess the same physical skills and abilities.  Things like that, if you want to stay with your lines of thought.

 islander wrote: 
You don't have children, right?

 islander wrote: 
meddlesome social engineering as a defense against the onslaught of a precipitous cultural decline is irrelevant IMO

 hippiechick wrote: 
Children who grow up feeling loved and confident will be happy people who know how to deal with disappointment, because they will know better than to take life's disappointments personally.

Children who are shamed, blamed, suffer failure and defeat, grow up to feel insecure and will constantly seek power and approval, possibly through violent means.

 islander wrote: 
The level of the steaks seem very subjective. A wound met in childhood can leave a scar lasting a lifetime. A scar that can echo itself onto every life that life interacts with. Better to learn how to be a good loser. Winning teaches very little.

 hippiechick wrote: 
Or don't shield people from the fact that there is failure. Then when the try and fail, they understand that it happens sometimes, and you need to brush yourself off and try again, not pout because you somehow lost (when you never lost in school...).