(Seen on a newly redecorated wall in one of those HGTV shows...)

"Life doesn't do anything to us but reveal our spirit."

All residents will now be collected on Thursday.

~ Ontario waste systems company notice

Customer:  Do you have any day-old donuts?

Clerk:  Yes, we do!

Customer:  Are they fresh?

~ overheard at Mighty Fine Donuts in Erie, PA

These are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

 ~Groucho Marx~

Anybody who has an alcohol problem stands in a door frame, trying to maintain his balance. He is either going to feel that he is achieving his best or that he is not achieving at all. This applies particularly in social situations, where we all have insecurities. If you're the kind of individual who feels that something big always has to happen, that each party has to be either the kind you can walk out of in disgust or a great success, you've got a problem. This is the kind of problem I think I had. I think I carry it with me today. I've only not been drinking for two years, so I'm still getting used to the fact that when I go to a party or to a restaurant now, I have to sit and say, Remember, Pete, this doesn't have to be the greatest night of your life. It doesn't matter. If you just have dinner, that's what restaurants are for. We go into them and have dinner and then we go home. It doesn't matter if you don't meet anybody you knew years ago. If these things don't happen, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to get suicidal.

~ P. Townshend

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
-Groucho Marx

 BillnDollarBaby wrote: 
Well, he just borrowed Mill's brevity.

"I talked to Jeremy {Piven} on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury. So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer."
- David Mamet

"The dreadful has already happened"
Martin Heidegger

"Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me so nervous."
- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1

"Oh! it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read."
- Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1

Courage is fear that has said it's prayers 

 Lazy8 wrote: 

 NoEnzLefttoSplit wrote:
 
You could come stay at my house. I bet you'd be delicious.

Doctor Cameron: Men should grow up.

Doctor House:  Yeah well, dogs should stop licking their balls.  It isn't gonna happen.

Stephen Colbert, 12/4/08

"It is possible to damn Obama with our praise. The more we praise Obama for cynical, political old school maneuvering, the more we can make it seem that nothing he does will feel like change."

 oldviolin wrote: 

That is a very cool one b.

We're so driven by concepts and gameplans, we forget the moment. Sometimes I wish I was a sheep.

My room mate said "I'm bored"
I said "me too"
he says... I'm like 2 x 4
(laughs)
I'm like 4 x 12.
Our new saying for bored is now "4 x 12"

Fall seven times; stand up eight

A new record in brevity for Exo.