WASHINGTON – After testing positive for COVID-19, an irate U.S. President Donald Trump called Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday morning to tell him that the Russian-made vaccine he was given was “complete junk.”
“Vlad, Vlad, listen. You know how much I respect you,” a coughing, feverish Trump told Putin through a backchannel to the Kremlin. “But this spoogenik thing you sent… it did nothing. Nothing.”
A dose of Sputnik V, the vaccine recently developed in Russia during a fast-tracked process many scientists fear bypassed rigorous medical review, was sent to Trump last month as part of the special rations given to every Russian agent.
Despite injecting himself with the vaccine, Trump tested positive for the coronavirus yesterday and has since developed symptoms, which sparked a barrage of angry tweets from the president.
Me: *waits my turn at the loading dock while the truck ahead of me fiddle-farts around* PO: *truck leaves* *closes roll-up door* Me: *rings bell* PO: Opens door, says "Is there a reason you weren't here earlier?" Me: "Yes." PO: then then "You're supposed to be here by 2." Me: *checks watch* *okay, checks phone* *4PM* PO: "What's your name?" Me: :squint: "Scott." PO: "Scott?" Me: "Scott." PO: "2 or 2:30" Me: :shrug: "Do what you gotta do." PO: "I WILL!"
Interlude: We are this post office's bulk permit No. 3 and by far their largest annual outgoing postage customer
Today, my office: Postmaster calling: "I would like to talk to someone about your driver yesterday." Me:
Me: *waits my turn at the loading dock while the truck ahead of me fiddle-farts around* PO: *truck leaves* *closes roll-up door* Me: *rings bell* PO: Opens door, says "Is there a reason you weren't here earlier?" Me: "Yes." PO: then then "You're supposed to be here by 2." Me: *checks watch* *okay, checks phone* *4PM* PO: "What's your name?" Me: :squint: "Scott." PO: "Scott?" Me: "Scott." PO: "2 or 2:30" Me: :shrug: "Do what you gotta do." PO: "I WILL!"
Interlude: We are this post office's bulk permit No. 3 and by far their largest annual outgoing postage customer
Today, my office: Postmaster calling: "I would like to talk to someone about your driver yesterday." Me:
Years ago, I did a poster for a new Renaissance Faire and I included a rabbit in the design. Someone said "what's with the rabbit?" and I said "tha's no oordinary rabbit!" and that seemed to be good enough but now finally 6 or 8 years later, someone put two and two together and they asked, "can we have a dragon this year?"
........These replaced the ones with the infamous "A Great Land Outdoors" slogan that was so nonsensical it had people ready to storm the castle.
....
Kinda makes sense to me. Take a person who has lived much of the waking hours inside a shopping mall complex. For that person, it would be the Great Land Indoors.
Wow! The state tries out new slogans every so often, but despite all the WTFs from the people, they refuse to actually consult with anyone, including their own dep't of tourism for, y'know, a unified message. These replaced the ones with the infamous "A Great Land Outdoors" slogan that was so nonsensical it had people ready to storm the castle. So this can only mean we're getting a new slogan! Hooray!
