[ ]   [ ]   [ ]                        [ ]      [ ]   [ ]

Economix - R_P - Jun 27, 2022 - 10:14am
 
Radio Paradise Comments - miamizsun - Jun 27, 2022 - 10:06am
 
What is the meaning of this? - oldviolin - Jun 27, 2022 - 10:04am
 
Guns - oldviolin - Jun 27, 2022 - 10:01am
 
Supreme Court Rulings - R_P - Jun 27, 2022 - 9:59am
 
Mixtape Culture Club - miamizsun - Jun 27, 2022 - 9:57am
 
Talk Behind Their Backs Forum - VV - Jun 27, 2022 - 9:45am
 
M.A.G.A. - R_P - Jun 27, 2022 - 9:43am
 
Wordle - daily game - Coaxial - Jun 27, 2022 - 9:42am
 
The Abortion Wars - kurtster - Jun 27, 2022 - 9:01am
 
Using Words to Frame a Political Issue - oldviolin - Jun 27, 2022 - 8:52am
 
Britain - Red_Dragon - Jun 27, 2022 - 8:40am
 
RightWingNutZ - Steely_D - Jun 27, 2022 - 8:25am
 
Words, acronyms, whatever, that changed meaning - Proclivities - Jun 27, 2022 - 7:43am
 
Ukraine - NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 27, 2022 - 12:39am
 
Photography Forum - Your Own Photos - fractalv - Jun 26, 2022 - 9:52pm
 
Things You Thought Today - Bill_J - Jun 26, 2022 - 7:29pm
 
Name My Band - oldviolin - Jun 26, 2022 - 4:53pm
 
Hockey + Fantasy Hockey - GeneP59 - Jun 26, 2022 - 4:47pm
 
Would you drive this car for dating with ur girl? - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 26, 2022 - 3:55pm
 
What Did You Do Today? - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 26, 2022 - 3:43pm
 
Poetry Forum - ScottN - Jun 26, 2022 - 9:04am
 
YouTube: Music-Videos - ScottFromWyoming - Jun 26, 2022 - 9:00am
 
Tech & Science - miamizsun - Jun 26, 2022 - 8:29am
 
Positive Thoughts and Prayer Requests - Antigone - Jun 25, 2022 - 4:48pm
 
Terrorist Watch! - Red_Dragon - Jun 25, 2022 - 2:58pm
 
I like cheese - GeneP59 - Jun 25, 2022 - 2:29pm
 
SECESSION: The Republic of Texas? - Isabeau - Jun 25, 2022 - 2:20pm
 
Counting with Pictures - ScottN - Jun 25, 2022 - 1:15pm
 
Love is... - oldviolin - Jun 25, 2022 - 10:42am
 
Live Music - oldviolin - Jun 25, 2022 - 10:28am
 
Today in History - HarleyRider - Jun 25, 2022 - 9:56am
 
What Are You Going To Do Today? - Red_Dragon - Jun 25, 2022 - 9:52am
 
260,000 Posts in one thread? - oldviolin - Jun 25, 2022 - 9:25am
 
How's the weather? - GeneP59 - Jun 24, 2022 - 6:49pm
 
Bug Reports & Feature Requests - lminfo - Jun 24, 2022 - 5:12pm
 
Vinyl Only Spin List - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 24, 2022 - 4:11pm
 
Germany - R_P - Jun 24, 2022 - 2:38pm
 
Stuff you bought today. - ScottFromWyoming - Jun 24, 2022 - 10:25am
 
• • • The Once-a-Day • • •  - black321 - Jun 24, 2022 - 8:53am
 
Country Up The Bumpkin - oldviolin - Jun 24, 2022 - 8:42am
 
Memorials - Remembering Our Loved Ones - miamizsun - Jun 24, 2022 - 8:12am
 
Trump - islander - Jun 24, 2022 - 8:06am
 
Russia - NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 23, 2022 - 10:34pm
 
Cryptic Posts - Leave Them Guessing - oldviolin - Jun 23, 2022 - 4:25pm
 
Upcoming concerts or shows you can't wait to see - ScottFromWyoming - Jun 23, 2022 - 3:46pm
 
Pernicious Pious Proclivities Particularized Prodigiously - R_P - Jun 23, 2022 - 12:15pm
 
Outstanding Covers - Steely_D - Jun 23, 2022 - 8:24am
 
Summer vacation plans? - Skydog - Jun 23, 2022 - 5:46am
 
Baseball, anyone? - Skydog - Jun 23, 2022 - 5:25am
 
how do you feel right now? - NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 22, 2022 - 9:51pm
 
TV shows you watch - Steely_D - Jun 22, 2022 - 5:54pm
 
Crazy conspiracy theories - Steely_D - Jun 22, 2022 - 2:06pm
 
Mars Exploration Rover Mission Status - miamizsun - Jun 22, 2022 - 10:14am
 
Things I Read Today - NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 22, 2022 - 9:22am
 
2016 Elections - Skydog - Jun 22, 2022 - 8:28am
 
Sublime Soundtracks - Skydog - Jun 22, 2022 - 5:12am
 
• • •  What's For Dinner ? • • •  - ScottFromWyoming - Jun 21, 2022 - 8:14pm
 
Nuclear power - saviour or scourge? - miamizsun - Jun 21, 2022 - 6:34pm
 
What the world needs now is .... - Skydog - Jun 21, 2022 - 5:27pm
 
World & Eclectic Mix - GetBakedTonight - Jun 21, 2022 - 1:22am
 
Happy Father's Day - Bill_J - Jun 20, 2022 - 8:23pm
 
Animal Resistance - Red_Dragon - Jun 20, 2022 - 3:58pm
 
Movie Recommendation - Manbird - Jun 20, 2022 - 2:46pm
 
Greetings from New York! - kcar - Jun 20, 2022 - 11:01am
 
Lyrics that strike a chord today... - oldviolin - Jun 20, 2022 - 9:48am
 
songs that ROCK! - oldviolin - Jun 20, 2022 - 9:43am
 
Fiverr Anyone? - ScottFromWyoming - Jun 20, 2022 - 8:21am
 
Art Show - Proclivities - Jun 20, 2022 - 7:39am
 
BillyGee's Greatest Segues - Skydog - Jun 20, 2022 - 4:05am
 
Climate Change - R_P - Jun 19, 2022 - 11:45am
 
New Recruit - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:37pm
 
What makes you smile? - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:21pm
 
Paul McCartney - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:19pm
 
Aliens: The Answer To Everything! - KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 18, 2022 - 4:14pm
 
Index » Music » Whatever » Don't Make Me Laugh Page: 1, 2, 3  Next
Post to this Topic
KurtfromLaQuinta

KurtfromLaQuinta Avatar

Location: Really deep in the heart of South California
Gender: Male


Posted: May 7, 2022 - 11:34am




Two blondes walk into a bar, and each orders a
drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, "51 days!
51 days!!" About five minutes later, another blonde walks in, orders a
drink, and joins the other two in the cheering. Finally, a fourth blonde
walks in with what looks like a cardboard picture. She puts the picture
thing in the middle of the table and starts cheering with the others,
"51 days! 51 days!!"
The bartender starts to get really curious, so he
walks over to discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster puzzle. He
walks over to one of the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you
doing?" "Well," the blonde says, "everyone thinks blondes are so
stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4
years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!"




thisbody

thisbody Avatar

Location: Mars
Gender: Male


Posted: May 4, 2022 - 12:32pm

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!”


rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 31, 2020 - 5:37am

Two old Jews are sitting on a park bench.

One says: “Nu, how are things?”

The other says: “Better than next year!”

 

https://www.counterpunch.org/2020/12/31/it-could-always-be-worse/

rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 20, 2020 - 12:05pm

The most contagious collection of Christmas songs ever recorded.
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 17, 2020 - 10:05am

sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 17, 2020 - 9:20am

sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 16, 2020 - 10:14am

Not even to be political, this is almost more jaw dropping than funny.  Can you say doppleganger?{#Eek}
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 16, 2020 - 5:16am

rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 15, 2020 - 8:46am

When Satan Met 2020

 
A real ad from Match.com. 
 
I think of 2020 as being more like a world war than a crazy woman. In which the Allies (N. America and EU) are loosing 40,000 people per week right now, while the Axis powers (East Asia) are loosing about 100 per week.
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 15, 2020 - 6:06am

ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 14, 2020 - 1:01pm



 sirdroseph wrote:
 

Stealing that for the church people I know...
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 14, 2020 - 4:57am

rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 12, 2020 - 6:16am

Is it too soon for Covid-19 jokes?
 
First mouse: "Going to get vaccinated?"
 
Second mouse: "Are you crazy, they haven't completed human trials yet."
VV

VV Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 9:08pm



 Proclivities wrote:
funeral songs

 
I just saw this... Shut up and Mourn?  I nearly shat myself!

ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 12:56pm



 rhahl wrote:

Here is the funniest joke I know. It makes me laugh every time I think of the punchline:
 
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Bob Einstein Tells a Joke
https://youtu.be/qUQMYumUgYI?list=PL27E6332FE38F4970&t=177
 
 


 

I like the notation from the Paley Center: "Bob Einstein (Marty Funkhouser) tells an offensive sexual joke."
rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 7:35am

 miamizsun wrote:
i've thought about it and decided that i want to laugh

i dare you to make me lol for real
 
Here is the funniest joke I know. It makes me laugh every time I think of the punchline:
 
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Bob Einstein Tells a Joke
https://youtu.be/qUQMYumUgYI?list=PL27E6332FE38F4970&t=177
 
 


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 4:45am

i've thought about it and decided that i want to laugh

i dare you to make me lol for real
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar



Posted: Nov 12, 2019 - 11:53am

black321

black321 Avatar

Location: An earth without maps
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 5, 2019 - 1:04pm



 sirdroseph wrote:
 


I'm guessing that wealth is heavily skewed towards the guy with the hat.  Regardless, what are they guilty of?
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 5, 2019 - 12:21pm

Page: 1, 2, 3  Next