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Trump - kurtster - Aug 9, 2022 - 3:32pm
 
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Bug Reports & Feature Requests - Proclivities - Aug 9, 2022 - 12:09pm
 
Museum Of Bad Album Covers - VV - Aug 9, 2022 - 10:34am
 
Baseball, anyone? - ScottFromWyoming - Aug 9, 2022 - 10:32am
 
Radio Paradise Comments - miamizsun - Aug 9, 2022 - 10:15am
 
RPeeps who would have a sense of humor if they were not s... - miamizsun - Aug 9, 2022 - 10:14am
 
Things that make you happy - GeneP59 - Aug 9, 2022 - 8:47am
 
unusual time signatures - ScottFromWyoming - Aug 9, 2022 - 8:26am
 
Best/worst white reggae/ska/rcksteady - thisbody - Aug 9, 2022 - 6:54am
 
More reggae, less Marley please - thisbody - Aug 9, 2022 - 6:48am
 
Media Bias - Red_Dragon - Aug 9, 2022 - 6:34am
 
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Things Forgotten. - Steely_D - Aug 8, 2022 - 10:24pm
 
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It's the economy stupid. - miamizsun - Aug 8, 2022 - 6:41pm
 
The Obituary Page - GeneP59 - Aug 8, 2022 - 5:44pm
 
Republican Party - kcar - Aug 8, 2022 - 3:28pm
 
Cheney, Dick - ScottFromWyoming - Aug 8, 2022 - 10:36am
 
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John Lennon's Jukebox - thisbody - Aug 8, 2022 - 4:55am
 
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Upcoming concerts or shows you can't wait to see - ScottFromWyoming - Aug 6, 2022 - 9:27am
 
The Abortion Wars - black321 - Aug 6, 2022 - 8:39am
 
Counting with Pictures - ScottN - Aug 6, 2022 - 4:34am
 
Pernicious Pious Proclivities Particularized Prodigiously - BlueHeronDruid - Aug 5, 2022 - 8:37pm
 
• • • The Once-a-Day • • •  - ScottFromWyoming - Aug 5, 2022 - 4:44pm
 
Live Music - oldviolin - Aug 5, 2022 - 12:58pm
 
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Least Successful Phishing Scams - geoff_morphini - Aug 5, 2022 - 9:19am
 
Graphs, Charts & Maps - miamizsun - Aug 5, 2022 - 7:09am
 
Favorite Flags - Proclivities - Aug 5, 2022 - 6:33am
 
Afghanistan - Red_Dragon - Aug 5, 2022 - 5:29am
 
What the hell OV? - oldviolin - Aug 4, 2022 - 7:34pm
 
What are you listening to now? - westslope - Aug 4, 2022 - 3:00pm
 
New Music - KurtfromLaQuinta - Aug 4, 2022 - 2:01pm
 
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Is there any DOG news out there? - miamizsun - Aug 3, 2022 - 11:40am
 
Vinyl Only Spin List - sirdroseph - Aug 3, 2022 - 10:39am
 
Manbird's Episiotomy Stitch Licking Clinic - KEEP OUT - geoff_morphini - Aug 3, 2022 - 9:08am
 
Infinite cat - Red_Dragon - Aug 3, 2022 - 7:36am
 
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COVID-19 - R_P - Aug 2, 2022 - 1:58pm
 
Favorite Beauty Products - Tried and Tested! - Proclivities - Aug 2, 2022 - 10:58am
 
Favorite Quotes - ptooey - Aug 2, 2022 - 10:21am
 
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Health Care - R_P - Aug 1, 2022 - 11:10am
 
What Makes You Laugh? - GeneP59 - Aug 1, 2022 - 5:14am
 
Nuclear power - saviour or scourge? - NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jul 31, 2022 - 9:46pm
 
ATTN: Kate Bush Fans! - Steely_D - Jul 31, 2022 - 8:34pm
 
Australia has Disappeared - Proclivities - Jul 31, 2022 - 4:26am
 
You might be getting old if...... - Manbird - Jul 30, 2022 - 6:26pm
 
Mixtape Culture Club - Steely_D - Jul 30, 2022 - 10:07am
 
Mr Peabody's Coal Train Broke - oldviolin - Jul 29, 2022 - 6:21pm
 
What Did You Do Today? - Antigone - Jul 29, 2022 - 5:01pm
 
260,000 Posts in one thread? - Isabeau - Jul 29, 2022 - 4:43pm
 
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Post to this Topic
KurtfromLaQuinta

KurtfromLaQuinta Avatar

Location: Really deep in the heart of South California
Gender: Male


Posted: May 7, 2022 - 11:34am




Two blondes walk into a bar, and each orders a
drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, "51 days!
51 days!!" About five minutes later, another blonde walks in, orders a
drink, and joins the other two in the cheering. Finally, a fourth blonde
walks in with what looks like a cardboard picture. She puts the picture
thing in the middle of the table and starts cheering with the others,
"51 days! 51 days!!"
The bartender starts to get really curious, so he
walks over to discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster puzzle. He
walks over to one of the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you
doing?" "Well," the blonde says, "everyone thinks blondes are so
stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4
years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!"




thisbody

thisbody Avatar

Location: Mars
Gender: Male


Posted: May 4, 2022 - 12:32pm

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you okay?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!”


rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 31, 2020 - 5:37am

Two old Jews are sitting on a park bench.

One says: “Nu, how are things?”

The other says: “Better than next year!”

 

https://www.counterpunch.org/2020/12/31/it-could-always-be-worse/

rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 20, 2020 - 12:05pm

The most contagious collection of Christmas songs ever recorded.
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 17, 2020 - 10:05am

sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 17, 2020 - 9:20am

sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 16, 2020 - 10:14am

Not even to be political, this is almost more jaw dropping than funny.  Can you say doppleganger?{#Eek}
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 16, 2020 - 5:16am

rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 15, 2020 - 8:46am

When Satan Met 2020

 
A real ad from Match.com. 
 
I think of 2020 as being more like a world war than a crazy woman. In which the Allies (N. America and EU) are loosing 40,000 people per week right now, while the Axis powers (East Asia) are loosing about 100 per week.
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 15, 2020 - 6:06am

ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 14, 2020 - 1:01pm



 sirdroseph wrote:
 

Stealing that for the church people I know...
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 14, 2020 - 4:57am

rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 12, 2020 - 6:16am

Is it too soon for Covid-19 jokes?
 
First mouse: "Going to get vaccinated?"
 
Second mouse: "Are you crazy, they haven't completed human trials yet."
VV

VV Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 9:08pm



 Proclivities wrote:
funeral songs

 
I just saw this... Shut up and Mourn?  I nearly shat myself!

ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 12:56pm



 rhahl wrote:

Here is the funniest joke I know. It makes me laugh every time I think of the punchline:
 
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Bob Einstein Tells a Joke
https://youtu.be/qUQMYumUgYI?list=PL27E6332FE38F4970&t=177
 
 


 

I like the notation from the Paley Center: "Bob Einstein (Marty Funkhouser) tells an offensive sexual joke."
rhahl

rhahl Avatar



Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 7:35am

 miamizsun wrote:
i've thought about it and decided that i want to laugh

i dare you to make me lol for real
 
Here is the funniest joke I know. It makes me laugh every time I think of the punchline:
 
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Bob Einstein Tells a Joke
https://youtu.be/qUQMYumUgYI?list=PL27E6332FE38F4970&t=177
 
 


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 11, 2020 - 4:45am

i've thought about it and decided that i want to laugh

i dare you to make me lol for real
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar



Posted: Nov 12, 2019 - 11:53am

black321

black321 Avatar

Location: An earth without maps
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 5, 2019 - 1:04pm



 sirdroseph wrote:
 


I'm guessing that wealth is heavily skewed towards the guy with the hat.  Regardless, what are they guilty of?
sirdroseph

sirdroseph Avatar

Location: Not here, I tell you wat
Gender: Male


Posted: Aug 5, 2019 - 12:21pm

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