VV is not so secretly infatuated with SFW’s boobs. 

winter keeps showing up at Insane Clown Posse shows dressed as a jiggalo. Spelling was never his strength. 

In related news, SFW has named his moobs Harry & Larry.

Winter thinks he will become more intriguing to women what with his "Sometimes I will capitalize the first word in a sentence... sometimes I will not" devil-may-care attitude. 

Winter's dad lost his job as a plastic surgeon when he referred to women's breasts as "meat puppets" one too many times.  

the last time buddy bought a new sock, he got mad that the price had gone up 50% practically overnight. He never bought clothes from that Seven-Eleven again.

If you could understand Islander's pain, you would probably think twice before stomping on his hand. 

You'd probably still do it again, but you'd give it some thought, nod approvingly, and really bring your heel down hard this time.

Geoff_morphini will tell anyone who asks that he "never even met" that K-Mart mannequin he was accused of fondling so lewdly in 1993.

he will also tell anyone who doesn't ask. or anyone who begs him to stop.

or anyone that he makes eye contact with in a crosswalk.

sometimes I sit and think about Veev's life.

like, what is it like to be a sentient Hostess Blackberry Fruit Pie? does he still have to pay sales tax? do the Vegas girls give him odd looks when he asks them to "microwave him a little, you know, for luck"? is it true that the glaze on his crust is made from clam juice, powdered yak nose hairs, and salt from baby tears? 

how does he get to work every day? is it difficult for a sentient pastry to find fulfillment taking photos of cattle deformities? and does he make a lot of money featuring them on his Onlyfans?

will he ever really understand matches? can he get his Congressman to sponsor a bill approving "is a pie" as a disability? will he complete his quest and find the last roll of toilet paper ever purchased by Jim Henson? 

for me, it's all a meditation on ambiguity. it reminds me that some questions will never be answered, even by a learned committee of bishops, engineers, psychologists, and Tolkien impersonators.

winter believes, oh he believes, that he will revive the Richard Simmons fad

Winter lists "Pee Shy" as a personal weakness on job application forms.

Every day, Red_Dragon wakes up grateful he still has his health. He gives himself a satisfied nod in the mirror, heads out to the car, and spends his commute praying to every deity he can think of that Howdy Doody will finally agree to pose for those "art photos" he's been asking for.

If you thought GeneP59's mustache was a doozy, you were close. It's actually a coozy he got from Al's Booby Barn and Tractor Parts Compound after giving his fiftieth lap dance.

VV doesn't like to brag, mostly for lack of material. But after a few beers he may deign to tell you about the time he almost married Cher, until the shrooms wore off and he realized he'd proposed to his vacuum cleaner after it got clogged on his chest hairs.

they dated for nine years after that.

buddy knows three things: that he can't have ice cream within three hours of bedtime, that he needs his bedroom kept at a consistent 68 degrees, and that he needs to stop calling that steamer trunk full of sailor-themed porn and "antique" Yoo-Hoo bottles he keeps under the garage his bedroom.

The last time geoff_morphini went to White Castle, he was asked to leave after he tried to borrow someone else's pants so he could go in.

it's possible that Islander's application for "Papal Undersecretary for Humorless Sea Urchins" was pre-declined after the clerk noticed he had filled it out in blood.

Or maybe it was the lilac-scented glitter he added to the ink.

 geoff_morphini wrote:

The swoon is bad, but you should really avoid 'Lumpy'.

Do not mention June Cleaver in front of VV; he’ll swoon

True fact: geoff_morphini's crusty underwear once stopped a stray bullet.