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ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 30, 2024 - 7:38am

 haresfur wrote:


I do admit that cooking them with a steam wand sounds like fun. Soggy fun, but fun. 



Our 2-position espresso machine, only one wand ever got used for coffees so once I figured out that it could be done, it was a really fast breakfast that impressed people because they *saw* me crack an egg and it never went near the microwave, but was done and waiting for the bagel to toast. 
haresfur

haresfur Avatar

Location: The Golden Triangle
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 11:52pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:


That's the point of 1000 Ways to Cook Eggs Wrong—I've never seen a cooking video that wasn't awash in comments saying how wrong the eggs are. So no heathens there. But people do have opinions. "Curdled-looking mess" ;-)  


I do admit that cooking them with a steam wand sounds like fun. Soggy fun, but fun. 
BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar

Location: Заебани сме луѓе


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 11:37pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

For special occasions*, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, I make biscuits and gravy. I never make the same biscuit recipe twice because except for one time, they've all been subpar. Far superior to restaurant biscuits of course, or Poppinfresh junk, but not worth the effort. Decades ago I was making pretty good ones using self-rising flour so I have gone back to that even though it seems wrong. And I worry about the flour losing its fizz over time. But I have used it 3x now and it's consistently better than normal, even if I use fancy baking powder or make my own with cream of tartar etc etc. So that's settled: Self-Rising Flour is the biscuit go-to. I also hear it's a lower-protein flour, more like cake flour. Okay.

As far as the fat component, I started decades ago with Crisco, back when it was the worst itchy-aorta product imaginable. They were good, but the butter-flavor ones were ridiculously good. But I moved on. I've used butter exclusively since then. Cheap salted butter (higher water content=more steam=flaky and fluffy, so the theory goes). Expensive unsalted butter. Heavy cream. Buttermilk. Plain yogurt. Plain greek yogurt (pretty good, tbh). Just milk. Milk curdled with lemon or vinegar. Olive oil. Peanut oil. Coconut oil. 

I've experimented with giant globs of butter, vs pea-sized bits, vs "like coarse corn meal." More liquid, less liquid, flouring and folding and rolling and flouring and folding and rolling again. Brushing with melted butter before folding/rolling/oiling/folding/rolling. 

Today's combination might be the best in years:
2 cups Self-rising Flour. More or less.
1/4 pound LARD. This was the shelf-stable SnoCap brand. If you google "cooking with lard," you'll find a lot of mythology that says it's awful and you should render your own but let's just not.
1 Cup buttermilk
I mixed the cold lard into the flour with my fingers. I started out trying to maintain some pea-sized lumps but as I worked it, it liquefied so I just went with it and wound up with the coarse meal texture. Dumped in the cup of buttermilk and was instantly aware that it wasn't enough (flour dries out here) so I poured in another 1/4 cup of half & half and even that was pretty dry so I added another splash. When I could stir it with a wooden spoon, I was done. Dumped on a floured cutting board and patted it out, fold/pat/fold/pat a dozen times. Cut with my Knob Creek Individual Cocktail Shaker, which is about 2-1/2" across and baked at 450 until they were starting to brown on the top. I was worried that they'd been in too long and would turn hard on the bottom and this turned out to be perfect timing. I could/should have brushed the tops with milk to make them more attractively golden on top. Without prompting, these were praised as "really good" and then when I told them the secret, "you didn't need to ruin it for us."

Then of course sausage gravy because the girl likes gravy. This time I minced up about 1/4 of an onion and I liked it better but I'm not sure about anyone else. 

Scrambled eggs. I think I'm going to start a food blog called "1000 ways to cook eggs wrong" because nobody agrees on how to scramble eggs. I have 3 go-to methods for scrambled eggs that give wildly different results that everyone agrees are "scrambled eggs" but they're completely different from each other. And there are dozens more techniques for scrambled eggs that I may or may not use from time to time. One of the coolest was using the steam wand of our espresso machine: Drop one egg in a buttered straight-sided frothing pitcher, a tablespoon of minced onion and bell pepper, some shredded cheese and a thimble worth of cream. Steam with the wand until it's fluffy and set. Tip the pitcher upside down on a toasted bagel. A lot of water will seep out and into the bagel which IMO makes it delicious but know your audience: Lots of people will think this is wrong so tip the liquid out into the sink first. If your food prep is already done before hand, this whole process takes 45 seconds. The egg will be spreadable for a few seconds. Add a slice of tomato and cream cheese and some people like mustard and ham. But today I just whisked some half and half into the eggs and into a skillet and stirred them over a medium-hot fire until they were almost set. By the time they were served, there were no runny bits left.

Coffee
And then a handful of drugs I take to combat the ill effects of eating like that.

Note: I actually bought the lard to make flour tortillas. I made some last week and the recipe called for "cooking oil" so I used peanut oil and they tasted like flour and regret. And turned to crackers. So I made lavash without meaning to. So later this week I'll make some lardy tortillas and report back.

*Today it's Augusta's weekend visit home from college.





Nice to see the young lady's face! Also, you need to come visit and thrash the shit out of my kitchen again. I'll wait.
oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 9:27pm

 Bill_J wrote:


You could just have a LFD.


Shut 'er down now Bill. LOL
Bill_J

Bill_J Avatar



Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 8:44pm

 oldviolin wrote:


Making me want a BFD but it's too late! 



You could just have a LFD.
oldviolin

oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 7:44pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

For special occasions*, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, I make biscuits and gravy. I never make the same biscuit recipe twice because except for one time, they've all been subpar. Far superior to restaurant biscuits of course, or Poppinfresh junk, but not worth the effort. Decades ago I was making pretty good ones using self-rising flour so I have gone back to that even though it seems wrong. And I worry about the flour losing its fizz over time. But I have used it 3x now and it's consistently better than normal, even if I use fancy baking powder or make my own with cream of tartar etc etc. So that's settled: Self-Rising Flour is the biscuit go-to. I also hear it's a lower-protein flour, more like cake flour. Okay.

As far as the fat component, I started decades ago with Crisco, back when it was the worst itchy-aorta product imaginable. They were good, but the butter-flavor ones were ridiculously good. But I moved on. I've used butter exclusively since then. Cheap salted butter (higher water content=more steam=flaky and fluffy, so the theory goes). Expensive unsalted butter. Heavy cream. Buttermilk. Plain yogurt. Plain greek yogurt (pretty good, tbh). Just milk. Milk curdled with lemon or vinegar. Olive oil. Peanut oil. Coconut oil. 

I've experimented with giant globs of butter, vs pea-sized bits, vs "like coarse corn meal." More liquid, less liquid, flouring and folding and rolling and flouring and folding and rolling again. Brushing with melted butter before folding/rolling/oiling/folding/rolling. 

Today's combination might be the best in years:
2 cups Self-rising Flour. More or less.
1/4 pound LARD. This was the shelf-stable SnoCap brand. If you google "cooking with lard," you'll find a lot of mythology that says it's awful and you should render your own but let's just not.
1 Cup buttermilk
I mixed the cold lard into the flour with my fingers. I started out trying to maintain some pea-sized lumps but as I worked it, it liquefied so I just went with it and wound up with the coarse meal texture. Dumped in the cup of buttermilk and was instantly aware that it wasn't enough (flour dries out here) so I poured in another 1/4 cup of half & half and even that was pretty dry so I added another splash. When I could stir it with a wooden spoon, I was done. Dumped on a floured cutting board and patted it out, fold/pat/fold/pat a dozen times. Cut with my Knob Creek Individual Cocktail Shaker, which is about 2-1/2" across and baked at 450 until they were starting to brown on the top. I was worried that they'd been in too long and would turn hard on the bottom and this turned out to be perfect timing. I could/should have brushed the tops with milk to make them more attractively golden on top. Without prompting, these were praised as "really good" and then when I told them the secret, "you didn't need to ruin it for us."

Then of course sausage gravy because the girl likes gravy. This time I minced up about 1/4 of an onion and I liked it better but I'm not sure about anyone else. 

Scrambled eggs. I think I'm going to start a food blog called "1000 ways to cook eggs wrong" because nobody agrees on how to scramble eggs. I have 3 go-to methods for scrambled eggs that give wildly different results that everyone agrees are "scrambled eggs" but they're completely different from each other. And there are dozens more techniques for scrambled eggs that I may or may not use from time to time. One of the coolest was using the steam wand of our espresso machine: Drop one egg in a buttered straight-sided frothing pitcher, a tablespoon of minced onion and bell pepper, some shredded cheese and a thimble worth of cream. Steam with the wand until it's fluffy and set. Tip the pitcher upside down on a toasted bagel. A lot of water will seep out and into the bagel which IMO makes it delicious but know your audience: Lots of people will think this is wrong so tip the liquid out into the sink first. If your food prep is already done before hand, this whole process takes 45 seconds. The egg will be spreadable for a few seconds. Add a slice of tomato and cream cheese and some people like mustard and ham. But today I just whisked some half and half into the eggs and into a skillet and stirred them over a medium-hot fire until they were almost set. By the time they were served, there were no runny bits left.

Coffee
And then a handful of drugs I take to combat the ill effects of eating like that.

Note: I actually bought the lard to make flour tortillas. I made some last week and the recipe called for "cooking oil" so I used peanut oil and they tasted like flour and regret. And turned to crackers. So I made lavash without meaning to. So later this week I'll make some lardy tortillas and report back.

*Today it's Augusta's weekend visit home from college.




Making me want a BFD but it's too late! 
ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 7:39pm

 haresfur wrote:





I guess I'm a heathen, but I like my eggs gently folded rather than a curdled-looking mess. Just barely dry and preferably not brown on the outside. For fried rice, I've taken to cooking the eggs first in the wok, take them out and slice apart to add back in after the other stuff cooks. I also do fried spaghetti. My dad made this by cooking the shit out of some leftover spaghetti then throwing some beaten eggs in. I get fancy and add herbs, maybe even some veg, then push that to the side of the pan, cook the eggs mostly then fold everything together.


That's the point of 1000 Ways to Cook Eggs Wrong—I've never seen a cooking video that wasn't awash in comments saying how wrong the eggs are. So no heathens there. But people do have opinions. "Curdled-looking mess" ;-)  
haresfur

haresfur Avatar

Location: The Golden Triangle
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 5:12pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

For special occasions*, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, I make biscuits and gravy. I never make the same biscuit recipe twice because except for one time, they've all been subpar. Far superior to restaurant biscuits of course, or Poppinfresh junk, but not worth the effort. Decades ago I was making pretty good ones using self-rising flour so I have gone back to that even though it seems wrong. And I worry about the flour losing its fizz over time. But I have used it 3x now and it's consistently better than normal, even if I use fancy baking powder or make my own with cream of tartar etc etc. So that's settled: Self-Rising Flour is the biscuit go-to. I also hear it's a lower-protein flour, more like cake flour. Okay.

As far as the fat component, I started decades ago with Crisco, back when it was the worst itchy-aorta product imaginable. They were good, but the butter-flavor ones were ridiculously good. But I moved on. I've used butter exclusively since then. Cheap salted butter (higher water content=more steam=flaky and fluffy, so the theory goes). Expensive unsalted butter. Heavy cream. Buttermilk. Plain yogurt. Plain greek yogurt (pretty good, tbh). Just milk. Milk curdled with lemon or vinegar. Olive oil. Peanut oil. Coconut oil. 

I've experimented with giant globs of butter, vs pea-sized bits, vs "like coarse corn meal." More liquid, less liquid, flouring and folding and rolling and flouring and folding and rolling again. Brushing with melted butter before folding/rolling/oiling/folding/rolling. 

Today's combination might be the best in years:
2 cups Self-rising Flour. More or less.
1/4 pound LARD. This was the shelf-stable SnoCap brand. If you google "cooking with lard," you'll find a lot of mythology that says it's awful and you should render your own but let's just not.
1 Cup buttermilk
I mixed the cold lard into the flour with my fingers. I started out trying to maintain some pea-sized lumps but as I worked it, it liquefied so I just went with it and wound up with the coarse meal texture. Dumped in the cup of buttermilk and was instantly aware that it wasn't enough (flour dries out here) so I poured in another 1/4 cup of half & half and even that was pretty dry so I added another splash. When I could stir it with a wooden spoon, I was done. Dumped on a floured cutting board and patted it out, fold/pat/fold/pat a dozen times. Cut with my Knob Creek Individual Cocktail Shaker, which is about 2-1/2" across and baked at 450 until they were starting to brown on the top. I was worried that they'd been in too long and would turn hard on the bottom and this turned out to be perfect timing. I could/should have brushed the tops with milk to make them more attractively golden on top. Without prompting, these were praised as "really good" and then when I told them the secret, "you didn't need to ruin it for us."

Then of course sausage gravy because the girl likes gravy. This time I minced up about 1/4 of an onion and I liked it better but I'm not sure about anyone else. 

Scrambled eggs. I think I'm going to start a food blog called "1000 ways to cook eggs wrong" because nobody agrees on how to scramble eggs. I have 3 go-to methods for scrambled eggs that give wildly different results that everyone agrees are "scrambled eggs" but they're completely different from each other. And there are dozens more techniques for scrambled eggs that I may or may not use from time to time. One of the coolest was using the steam wand of our espresso machine: Drop one egg in a buttered straight-sided frothing pitcher, a tablespoon of minced onion and bell pepper, some shredded cheese and a thimble worth of cream. Steam with the wand until it's fluffy and set. Tip the pitcher upside down on a toasted bagel. A lot of water will seep out and into the bagel which IMO makes it delicious but know your audience: Lots of people will think this is wrong so tip the liquid out into the sink first. If your food prep is already done before hand, this whole process takes 45 seconds. The egg will be spreadable for a few seconds. Add a slice of tomato and cream cheese and some people like mustard and ham. But today I just whisked some half and half into the eggs and into a skillet and stirred them over a medium-hot fire until they were almost set. By the time they were served, there were no runny bits left.

Coffee
And then a handful of drugs I take to combat the ill effects of eating like that.

Note: I actually bought the lard to make flour tortillas. I made some last week and the recipe called for "cooking oil" so I used peanut oil and they tasted like flour and regret. And turned to crackers. So I made lavash without meaning to. So later this week I'll make some lardy tortillas and report back.

*Today it's Augusta's weekend visit home from college.







I guess I'm a heathen, but I like my eggs gently folded rather than a curdled-looking mess. Just barely dry and preferably not brown on the outside. For fried rice, I've taken to cooking the eggs first in the wok, take them out and slice apart to add back in after the other stuff cooks. I also do fried spaghetti. My dad made this by cooking the shit out of some leftover spaghetti then throwing some beaten eggs in. I get fancy and add herbs, maybe even some veg, then push that to the side of the pan, cook the eggs mostly then fold everything together.
ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 3:54pm

 Red_Dragon wrote:


My method for scrambling eggs is to try to make an omelet.



 I think omelet pans are a lie. The French style is clearly the French just saying oui les oofes sons runnyasfuque, we preferre zem zissouay.
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Gilead


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 2:23pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

For special occasions*, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, I make biscuits and gravy. I never make the same biscuit recipe twice because except for one time, they've all been subpar. Far superior to restaurant biscuits of course, or Poppinfresh junk, but not worth the effort. Decades ago I was making pretty good ones using self-rising flour so I have gone back to that even though it seems wrong. And I worry about the flour losing its fizz over time. But I have used it 3x now and it's consistently better than normal, even if I use fancy baking powder or make my own with cream of tartar etc etc. So that's settled: Self-Rising Flour is the biscuit go-to. I also hear it's a lower-protein flour, more like cake flour. Okay.

As far as the fat component, I started decades ago with Crisco, back when it was the worst itchy-aorta product imaginable. They were good, but the butter-flavor ones were ridiculously good. But I moved on. I've used butter exclusively since then. Cheap salted butter (higher water content=more steam=flaky and fluffy, so the theory goes). Expensive unsalted butter. Heavy cream. Buttermilk. Plain yogurt. Plain greek yogurt (pretty good, tbh). Just milk. Milk curdled with lemon or vinegar. Olive oil. Peanut oil. Coconut oil. 

I've experimented with giant globs of butter, vs pea-sized bits, vs "like coarse corn meal." More liquid, less liquid, flouring and folding and rolling and flouring and folding and rolling again. Brushing with melted butter before folding/rolling/oiling/folding/rolling. 

Today's combination might be the best in years:
2 cups Self-rising Flour. More or less.
1/4 pound LARD. This was the shelf-stable SnoCap brand. If you google "cooking with lard," you'll find a lot of mythology that says it's awful and you should render your own but let's just not.
1 Cup buttermilk
I mixed the cold lard into the flour with my fingers. I started out trying to maintain some pea-sized lumps but as I worked it, it liquefied so I just went with it and wound up with the coarse meal texture. Dumped in the cup of buttermilk and was instantly aware that it wasn't enough (flour dries out here) so I poured in another 1/4 cup of half & half and even that was pretty dry so I added another splash. When I could stir it with a wooden spoon, I was done. Dumped on a floured cutting board and patted it out, fold/pat/fold/pat a dozen times. Cut with my Knob Creek Individual Cocktail Shaker, which is about 2-1/2" across and baked at 450 until they were starting to brown on the top. I was worried that they'd been in too long and would turn hard on the bottom and this turned out to be perfect timing. I could/should have brushed the tops with milk to make them more attractively golden on top. Without prompting, these were praised as "really good" and then when I told them the secret, "you didn't need to ruin it for us."

Then of course sausage gravy because the girl likes gravy. This time I minced up about 1/4 of an onion and I liked it better but I'm not sure about anyone else. 

Scrambled eggs. I think I'm going to start a food blog called "1000 ways to cook eggs wrong" because nobody agrees on how to scramble eggs. I have 3 go-to methods for scrambled eggs that give wildly different results that everyone agrees are "scrambled eggs" but they're completely different from each other. And there are dozens more techniques for scrambled eggs that I may or may not use from time to time. One of the coolest was using the steam wand of our espresso machine: Drop one egg in a buttered straight-sided frothing pitcher, a tablespoon of minced onion and bell pepper, some shredded cheese and a thimble worth of cream. Steam with the wand until it's fluffy and set. Tip the pitcher upside down on a toasted bagel. A lot of water will seep out and into the bagel which IMO makes it delicious but know your audience: Lots of people will think this is wrong so tip the liquid out into the sink first. If your food prep is already done before hand, this whole process takes 45 seconds. The egg will be spreadable for a few seconds. Add a slice of tomato and cream cheese and some people like mustard and ham. But today I just whisked some half and half into the eggs and into a skillet and stirred them over a medium-hot fire until they were almost set. By the time they were served, there were no runny bits left.

Coffee
And then a handful of drugs I take to combat the ill effects of eating like that.

Note: I actually bought the lard to make flour tortillas. I made some last week and the recipe called for "cooking oil" so I used peanut oil and they tasted like flour and regret. And turned to crackers. So I made lavash without meaning to. So later this week I'll make some lardy tortillas and report back.

*Today it's Augusta's weekend visit home from college.




My method for scrambling eggs is to try to make an omelet.
GeneP59

GeneP59 Avatar

Location: On the edge of tomorrow looking back at
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 1:56pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:

For special occasions*, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, I make biscuits and gravy. I never make the same biscuit recipe twice because except for one time, they've all been subpar. Far superior to restaurant biscuits of course, or Poppinfresh junk, but not worth the effort. Decades ago I was making pretty good ones using self-rising flour so I have gone back to that even though it seems wrong. And I worry about the flour losing its fizz over time. But I have used it 3x now and it's consistently better than normal, even if I use fancy baking powder or make my own with cream of tartar etc etc. So that's settled: Self-Rising Flour is the biscuit go-to. I also hear it's a lower-protein flour, more like cake flour. Okay.

As far as the fat component, I started decades ago with Crisco, back when it was the worst itchy-aorta product imaginable. They were good, but the butter-flavor ones were ridiculously good. But I moved on. I've used butter exclusively since then. Cheap salted butter (higher water content=more steam=flaky and fluffy, so the theory goes). Expensive unsalted butter. Heavy cream. Buttermilk. Plain yogurt. Plain greek yogurt (pretty good, tbh). Just milk. Milk curdled with lemon or vinegar. Olive oil. Peanut oil. Coconut oil. 

I've experimented with giant globs of butter, vs pea-sized bits, vs "like coarse corn meal." More liquid, less liquid, flouring and folding and rolling and flouring and folding and rolling again. Brushing with melted butter before folding/rolling/oiling/folding/rolling. 

Today's combination might be the best in years:
2 cups Self-rising Flour. More or less.
1/4 pound LARD. This was the shelf-stable SnoCap brand. If you google "cooking with lard," you'll find a lot of mythology that says it's awful and you should render your own but let's just not.
1 Cup buttermilk
I mixed the cold lard into the flour with my fingers. I started out trying to maintain some pea-sized lumps but as I worked it, it liquefied so I just went with it and wound up with the coarse meal texture. Dumped in the cup of buttermilk and was instantly aware that it wasn't enough (flour dries out here) so I poured in another 1/4 cup of half & half and even that was pretty dry so I added another splash. When I could stir it with a wooden spoon, I was done. Dumped on a floured cutting board and patted it out, fold/pat/fold/pat a dozen times. Cut with my Knob Creek Individual Cocktail Shaker, which is about 2-1/2" across and baked at 450 until they were starting to brown on the top. I was worried that they'd been in too long and would turn hard on the bottom and this turned out to be perfect timing. I could/should have brushed the tops with milk to make them more attractively golden on top. Without prompting, these were praised as "really good" and then when I told them the secret, "you didn't need to ruin it for us."

Then of course sausage gravy because the girl likes gravy. This time I minced up about 1/4 of an onion and I liked it better but I'm not sure about anyone else. 

Scrambled eggs. I think I'm going to start a food blog called "1000 ways to cook eggs wrong" because nobody agrees on how to scramble eggs. I have 3 go-to methods for scrambled eggs that give wildly different results that everyone agrees are "scrambled eggs" but they're completely different from each other. And there are dozens more techniques for scrambled eggs that I may or may not use from time to time. One of the coolest was using the steam wand of our espresso machine: Drop one egg in a buttered straight-sided frothing pitcher, a tablespoon of minced onion and bell pepper, some shredded cheese and a thimble worth of cream. Steam with the wand until it's fluffy and set. Tip the pitcher upside down on a toasted bagel. A lot of water will seep out and into the bagel which IMO makes it delicious but know your audience: Lots of people will think this is wrong so tip the liquid out into the sink first. If your food prep is already done before hand, this whole process takes 45 seconds. The egg will be spreadable for a few seconds. Add a slice of tomato and cream cheese and some people like mustard and ham. But today I just whisked some half and half into the eggs and into a skillet and stirred them over a medium-hot fire until they were almost set. By the time they were served, there were no runny bits left.

Coffee
And then a handful of drugs I take to combat the ill effects of eating like that.

Note: I actually bought the lard to make flour tortillas. I made some last week and the recipe called for "cooking oil" so I used peanut oil and they tasted like flour and regret. And turned to crackers. So I made lavash without meaning to. So later this week I'll make some lardy tortillas and report back.

*Today it's Augusta's weekend visit home from college.



You write too much! Reading makes me hungry. NOW FEED ME!!!  

ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Sep 29, 2024 - 10:28am

For special occasions*, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, I make biscuits and gravy. I never make the same biscuit recipe twice because except for one time, they've all been subpar. Far superior to restaurant biscuits of course, or Poppinfresh junk, but not worth the effort. Decades ago I was making pretty good ones using self-rising flour so I have gone back to that even though it seems wrong. And I worry about the flour losing its fizz over time. But I have used it 3x now and it's consistently better than normal, even if I use fancy baking powder or make my own with cream of tartar etc etc. So that's settled: Self-Rising Flour is the biscuit go-to. I also hear it's a lower-protein flour, more like cake flour. Okay.

As far as the fat component, I started decades ago with Crisco, back when it was the worst itchy-aorta product imaginable. They were good, but the butter-flavor ones were ridiculously good. But I moved on. I've used butter exclusively since then. Cheap salted butter (higher water content=more steam=flaky and fluffy, so the theory goes). Expensive unsalted butter. Heavy cream. Buttermilk. Plain yogurt. Plain greek yogurt (pretty good, tbh). Just milk. Milk curdled with lemon or vinegar. Olive oil. Peanut oil. Coconut oil. 

I've experimented with giant globs of butter, vs pea-sized bits, vs "like coarse corn meal." More liquid, less liquid, flouring and folding and rolling and flouring and folding and rolling again. Brushing with melted butter before folding/rolling/oiling/folding/rolling. 

Today's combination might be the best in years:
2 cups Self-rising Flour. More or less.
1/4 pound LARD. This was the shelf-stable SnoCap brand. If you google "cooking with lard," you'll find a lot of mythology that says it's awful and you should render your own but let's just not.
1 Cup buttermilk
I mixed the cold lard into the flour with my fingers. I started out trying to maintain some pea-sized lumps but as I worked it, it liquefied so I just went with it and wound up with the coarse meal texture. Dumped in the cup of buttermilk and was instantly aware that it wasn't enough (flour dries out here) so I poured in another 1/4 cup of half & half and even that was pretty dry so I added another splash. When I could stir it with a wooden spoon, I was done. Dumped on a floured cutting board and patted it out, fold/pat/fold/pat a dozen times. Cut with my Knob Creek Individual Cocktail Shaker, which is about 2-1/2" across and baked at 450 until they were starting to brown on the top. I was worried that they'd been in too long and would turn hard on the bottom and this turned out to be perfect timing. I could/should have brushed the tops with milk to make them more attractively golden on top. Without prompting, these were praised as "really good" and then when I told them the secret, "you didn't need to ruin it for us."

Then of course sausage gravy because the girl likes gravy. This time I minced up about 1/4 of an onion and I liked it better but I'm not sure about anyone else. 

Scrambled eggs. I think I'm going to start a food blog called "1000 ways to cook eggs wrong" because nobody agrees on how to scramble eggs. I have 3 go-to methods for scrambled eggs that give wildly different results that everyone agrees are "scrambled eggs" but they're completely different from each other. And there are dozens more techniques for scrambled eggs that I may or may not use from time to time. One of the coolest was using the steam wand of our espresso machine: Drop one egg in a buttered straight-sided frothing pitcher, a tablespoon of minced onion and bell pepper, some shredded cheese and a thimble worth of cream. Steam with the wand until it's fluffy and set. Tip the pitcher upside down on a toasted bagel. A lot of water will seep out and into the bagel which IMO makes it delicious but know your audience: Lots of people will think this is wrong so tip the liquid out into the sink first. If your food prep is already done before hand, this whole process takes 45 seconds. The egg will be spreadable for a few seconds. Add a slice of tomato and cream cheese and some people like mustard and ham. But today I just whisked some half and half into the eggs and into a skillet and stirred them over a medium-hot fire until they were almost set. By the time they were served, there were no runny bits left.

Coffee
And then a handful of drugs I take to combat the ill effects of eating like that.

Note: I actually bought the lard to make flour tortillas. I made some last week and the recipe called for "cooking oil" so I used peanut oil and they tasted like flour and regret. And turned to crackers. So I made lavash without meaning to. So later this week I'll make some lardy tortillas and report back.

*Today it's Augusta's weekend visit home from college.


whatshisname

whatshisname Avatar

Location: West OZ
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 24, 2022 - 4:18pm

Bananas  on sourdough with a cup or two of treasured "Great Grandfather's Blend" black tea from a friend's tea estate in Sri Lanka. Nice xmas treat

Manbird

Manbird Avatar

Location: La Villa Toscana
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 24, 2022 - 1:27pm

MANBIRDFAST
2 packs of Better Oats Organic Steel Cut Maple Oatmeal with Flax Seeds®
1 tsp crushed organic hemp seed
2 1/2 heaping tbsp fine ground organic chia seed
1/4 tsp bee pollen
Combine well then add about a cup or more of boiling water
Stir well and when thick add
3 tbsp organic maple syrup
Stir well and when thick add
1/8 cup or so cream or half and half
(Too much sugar probably) 
but it's a creamy, delicious, healthy, breakfast of champeens.

A large cup of Lifeboost clean coffee from fresh ground beans with 3 tbsp 
MCT oil whipped in and a splash of half and half for a lovely, strong, fresh 
coffee condroizal, bang on energy, and smooooth movements.

Every day, man.









miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3283.1 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 24, 2022 - 7:26am

 Red_Dragon wrote:


BACON!!!


even pigs love bacon!
go figure
Red_Dragon

Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Gilead


Posted: Dec 24, 2022 - 7:17am

 miamizsun wrote:

my sort of "french" spin on coffee, bacon and eggs

i knew i was in the zone when my bacon came out perfect




BACON!!!
miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3283.1 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 24, 2022 - 7:15am

my sort of "french" spin on coffee, bacon and eggs

i knew i was in the zone when my bacon came out perfect


ScottFromWyoming

ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 6, 2021 - 10:01am

It finally got cold this morning — 12°F where it had been in the 60s all last week — so oatmeal sounded good. And it was, because I diced and sautee'd a honeycrisp apple in butter, brown sugar, and pie spice. Plus a local grower gave us a few pounds of his organic rolled oats. I'm not sure I'm convinced I can taste a difference but store-bought always smells a little stale in the package.
prkbenchmutation

prkbenchmutation Avatar

Location: South Ontario
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 6, 2021 - 8:37am

onions, mushrooms, chopped mini-potatoes in an egg white omelet (meatless Monday)
The company of my wife of 40+ years..........a lot of eggs!
miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3283.1 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Dec 6, 2021 - 7:34am

 islander wrote:
implied, because 'duh'.


the streets run red with ranchero!
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