This just came in.
I didn't read the whole thing because there too many word but I assume it's ridiculous and funny
 
  
Donation From Mrs Linda Carlson
P.O.Box: 20581, Abidjan
Cote d'ivoire.

Dearest in Christ , 

Greetings in the Name above all names, Jesus Christ our Lord and saviour, I am Mrs Linda Carlson. I am married to Mr.Livingston Carlson who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for many years before he died in the year 2004.We were married  without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christian.

Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of ($3.200.000.00) Three million two  hundred thousand Dollars in a Bank in Ivory Coast . Presently, this money is still in the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to my cancer problem.

The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity organization that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want an organization that will use this fund for orphanages, school and church, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained, Isaiah 56:7 For my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations." The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth".I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.  As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank here in Ivory Coast. 

I await your soonest response with your full information, example.
Your full name.......................
Address..........................................
Age...............................................

I will use the above information to obtain an authorization letter that wills approve you the new beneficiary to this fund from Federal Ministry of Justice Cote d'ivoire. Please reassure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply with the above information. 

Take care,
Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs Linda Carlson
 

——-Original Message——-
From: Ophelia Kinney
Sent: Thursday, November 05, 2009 4:19 AM
To: Group: Trouble Test Center
Subject: Get Woodstock Hippie arousal

 

Let your zip feel tension http://nemdyr.jewbezkagr.com/

From the "Bank of America Security Team"

---

Online Banking account suspended for security reasons

You are required to do the following requests in order to access
your account:

Confirm your identity - you will be asked several personal questions in order to verify your identity.

To get started and for faster services please use the following secure website (not!):

http://dencart.jp/images/.www.bankofamerica.com/

After you finnish this proccess you will have instant access to your account.

Security Department
Please do not reply to this email address.

Bank of America, N.A. Member FDIC. Equal Housing Lender© 2009 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

 Coaxial wrote: 
I like the name-Elizabeth Cole. It sounds trustworthy.

  Maybe she's an delicate  Englishwoman who is traveling abroad in Iran( that's where the email is from)

 bokey wrote: 
You lucky guy you...150.00 for 500,000.00 what a deal.

Dear Friend,
I am Mr.Evans Green and I have a business suggestion for you.
I shall provide you with more information
when I get a positive response from you.
contact me via:evans.green1@btinternet.com
Kind Regards
Mr Evans Green

Good Day To You And Your Family.

I am Mrs. Elizabeth Cole and have been waiting for you since to contact me
for your Confirmable Bank Draft of $500, 000, 00 USD (Five Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars), but I did not hear from you since that time. Then I
went and deposited the Draft with FedEx Courier Express , West Africa, I
traveled out of the country for a 2 Months Trip and I will not come back
till end of December. I want you to contact the FedEx Courier Express
Immediately to know when they will deliver your Bank Draft to your home
address.

Contact the dispatch Officer whom is in charge of your package delivery.
***Contact Person: Mr. Adams Williams
***Email Address:  fedex. org@ksa. ir
***Telephone: Call+234 8057884412

You are advice to send  your Full Name: Contact Address: Phone Number and
also the amount of $150 Us Dollars to the Courier Company to avoid mistake
on delivery of your package to you to your home address.
Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Elizabeth Cole

 Kourosh wrote: 
General Aka?

 Kourosh wrote: 

 schtan wrote: 
Uh, trojan horse? Also, nice engrish slogan!

Hi guys,

I have received the same email this morning and I have checked the website, it seems to be real!! I haven't tried any shopping yet because I am a little sceptical about online shopping with my credit card but the prices are ridiculously low. I don't know if the site is hacked or they are really doing promotions. 


 schtan wrote: 

friend,
I would like to introduce a really good company that mainly do the electornic products trade.
Now the company is doing promotion,all of it's products are sold nearly as same as their cost.
It redeners the best service to customers,it provide you original products which is
good quality,and what's more,the pricewill give you a big surprise!
It is realy a good opportunity for doing shopping.Just grasp the opportunity,or there will be no more than that!
The web address: fcqrz.com
E-mail: fcqrz_one@188.com
Msn: fcqrz_one@hotmail.com

( my nephew kevin sent me this , i am thankful that he is including me in his e mail thread ... )

THE PRESIDENCY

Aso Rock villa, Asokoro District, Abuja

Direct Security Line

+23480-5939-0985

Email :( ltgeneraljamesaka@yahoo.com.hk)

Presidential Foreign payment allocation security code (786PRFGN)

SECURITY CONFIDENTIAL DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY PAYMENT

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Lt. General James Aka National Special Adviser to the New President Alhaji Umar Musa Yara Dua Federal Republic of Nigeria, I am delighted to inform you that the contract panel, which just concluded it seating in Abuja just released your name among contractors to benefit from the Diplomatic Immunity Payment. This Panel was primarily delegated to investigate manipulated contract and inheritance claims, contracts and over-invoiced payment as the negative effects has eaten deep into the Economy of our dear country. Disregard any replica of this message without the presidential allocation code as stated above.

However, we wish to bring to your notice that your contract / inheritance profile is still reflecting in our central computeronic presidential system as an unpaid contract / inheritance during auditing excise. Your payment file was forwarded to my office by the auditors as unclaimed fund, we wish to use this medium to inform you that for the time being, Federal Government of Nigeria have stopped further payment through bank to bank transfer, payment by draft or ATM except on some special instructions, due to foreign beneficiary numerous petitions to United Nations, FBI, CIA and international police against Nigeria on wrong payment and diversion of foreign funds to different accounts.

In this regards, we are going to release your foreign part payment of 5.6 Million USD through an accredited security shipping company, I have secured every needed documents to cover the money. Note: The funds are coming on 2 security proof boxes. The boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine.

Please you don't have to worry for anything, as the transaction is 100% risk free. The boxes are coming with Diplomatic agents who will accompany the boxes to your house address. All you need to do now is to send to me your full house address and your identity such as, international Passport or drivers license and your mobile phone and telephone number, The Diplomatic Attach will travel with it. He will call you immediately he arrives your country's airport. I hope you understand me.

Note: The diplomat does not know the original contents of the boxes. What l declared to them as the contents is Sensitive Photographic Film Materials for security reasons. I did not declare money to them please. If they call you and ask you the contents please tell them the same thing Ok.Call me on my direct phone +23480-5939-0985

Email: (ltgeneraljamesaka@yahoo.com.hk)

I will let you know how far I have gone with the arrangement. I will secure the Diplomatic immunity clearance certificate, which will make it pass every custom Check point all over the world without hitch. Confirm the receipt of this message and send the requirements to me immediately you receive this message. Please I need urgent reply because the boxes are schedule to live as soon as we hear from you. Call me immediately.

1) YOUR FULL NAME

2) PHONE AND FAX NUMBER

3) ADDRESS WHERE YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND

4) YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCPATION

5) A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY

Congratulations.

Best Regards,

Lt General James Aka

National Security Adviser to the President

Federal Republic of Nigeria

whoa...the boxes will live!

 AliGator wrote:  Why the laughter? It looks totally legit to me...

 rosedraws wrote: 
"my secretary Mandela Freeman"

anyone else getting this roulette one?  sheesh

yo mate, ok I`ll give you my trick but if you give it someone else I`ll fuckin kill you :)
you know in roulette you can bet on blacks or reds. If you bet $1 on black and it goes black you win $1 but if it goes red you loose your $1.
So I found a way you can win everytime:

bet $1 on black if it goes black you win $1

now again bet $1 on black, if it goes red bet $3 on black, if it goes red again bet $8 on black, if red again bet $20 on black, red again bet $52 on black (always multiple you previous lost bet around 2.5), if now is black you win $52 so you have $104 and you bet:

$1 + $3 + $8 + $20 + $52 = $84 So you just won $20 :)

With almost impressive creativity to create variations on a theme.  Who does this?  And why??

Hello Dear Friend,

I am glad to inform you that I have successfully concluded the transaction. The money has been transferred to London through the assistant of someone I met through a friend. Currently I'm in London for investments.
However, I did not forget you because you are the source of my success,you made me what I am now though you are not there to complete this project with me but I give all the credit and thanks to you. I know it is not your fault or rather your wish to back out, I understand it was simply due to circumstances beyond your control.

In appreciating your assistance, I have compensated you with a sum of $450,000.00 which I have written in a certified bank draft in your name. I left i t with my secretary Mandela Freeman on my departure to London. I will like you to contact him with the below info and instruct him where to send it to, because I have directed him on that already.

Name: Mandela Freeman
Email:fmandela2000@yahoo.com.hk
Phone: +27710230599

You may not be able to reach me after this mail because I am switching off my computer and phones to avoid troubles from people who have been blackmailing me and demanding for huge amount of money from me, so kindly comply with my secretary to enable you receive the draft.

Regards,
Alice Zuma

This one was entitled "I want you to contact my daughter Lisa" 
Still boggles my mind that people go to these lengths to even write this stuff...    All the makings of a bad B movie, poisonings, evil step mothers, the works!

I am writing from the hospital, therefore this mail is very urgent as you can 

see that I am  going home. I was 

told by the doctor that I was poisoned and has got my liver damaged and can only 

live for some months.

I inherited some money ($18.5 Million) from my late father and I cannot think of 

anybody trying to kill me apart 

from my step mother in order to inherit the money.

I want you to know that i am in pains, and all I am worried about is my adopted 

daughter lisa, why because I do 

not want her to suffer if I do not survive this present condition that is why I 

am seeking for your assistance for 

her safety and well being, she is only 15 years. I promised to take good care of 

her  and make her become grate in 

life but the wicked people in this world  my step mother have poisoned me 

because of my inheritance so please  you 

have to sincerely help me.

I will be going in for the operation in few days so please pray for me for my 

survival but on the other hand 

incase of anything all I need is your sincere assistance and l need  financial 

help from you because I do not have 

enough.  but life comes from the Most High God.

I want you to contact my  daughter Lisa with this information below:

Name:Miss Lisa Bernard 

Email:lisabernard01@aol.co.uk

This is the favor I need when you have gotten the money:- 

(1) My beloved daughter Lisa should be given 30% I want you to take

Her along with you to your country and establish her

 (2) Give 20% of the money to Charity Organizations and Churches on my

Name so that my soul may rest in peace. 

If I don't hear from you within two days, I will look for another person. 

May God bless you and use you to accomplish my wish. 

Pray for me always 

ms Mary Bernard 

Thank you Holy Father 

This just in from the INTL.LOTTO COMMISSION:

You have won 1,000,000,00 Euro in INTL.LOTTO COMMISSION Draw promotional programme held on 8th of September 2009 as part of our yearly international promotional bonanza. Due to the mix up of numbers, address and the holiday, the results were released on the 10th September, 2009

Your name attached to ticket Nº:134-03650116-211,
BatchNº:55469,
File Ref Nº:Eu-bx 55/12426/972,
Wining Nº:0418324046+0607,
Prize claim batch Nº:  55469

which consequently won the lottery on the 2nd category.and personal details to the processing agent with these

E-mail: claimsoffice.xxxxxxx@yahoo.com.hk
            claimsoffice.xxxxxxx@yahoo.com.hk

Tel   :+34634025345

Form juan marcus
Draw Manager

Finally I can retire!!!!!!!

 jagdriver wrote: