I like the idea of sacred monkeys in the Vatican - sort of reminds me of Oz! Good story, thanks for the write. The black cat is actually my own little snooty, snotty thing. It's one of the very few pics I have of her actually looking towards the camera - she usually turns her head.
It has taken a few years for all the childhood brainwashing to disappear - with the help of husband, Xeric. Religion can be a toxic, self-justified means to give oneself permission to judge, control others and scam money. It's not like one day I decided to walk away, it was a moderately slow process (of about 2 months or so) after being enlightened .
How eerily reminiscent of the subject of this thread. I'm guessing that in another life, Trumpers was a televangelist. bokey wrote:
That's because she knows the camera will steal her soul.
Personally, I think cats are biding their time before they eat us like rotisserie chickens.
I like the idea of sacred monkeys in the Vatican - sort of reminds me of Oz! Good story, thanks for the write. The black cat is actually my own little snooty, snotty thing. It's one of the very few pics I have of her actually looking towards the camera - she usually turns her head.
It has taken a few years for all the childhood brainwashing to disappear - with the help of husband, Xeric. Religion can be a toxic, self-justified means to give oneself permission to judge, control others and scam money. It's not like one day I decided to walk away, it was a moderately slow process (of about 2 months or so) after being enlightened .
That's because she knows the camera will steal her soul.
The black kitteh avatar hints at a remove from Christian fundamentalism. (love cats myself). I think that if I delved deeply into the arcana and minutia of Christian sects, I'd start to weep and/or laugh uncontrollably. So I'll just back away slowly and not press you for details. I'm such an unwashed heathen that I likely wouldn't understand half of what you told me.
This reminds me of the BBC adaptation of "Brideshead Revisited" from the early 80s, the one with Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews. AA plays Sebastian, a tortured Catholic from a titled British family. Sebastians' sister Julia is engaged to a rich but clueless American (Rex), who gamely undertakes lessons in Catholicism before converting as part of the marriage ceremony. The local priest gives him guidance, as does Julia's young sister Cordelia (played by Phoebe Nicholls, whom I just saw as Countess de Courcy in Amazon's "Dr. Thorne").
Unfortunately, Cordelia is a bit cruel and rather creative when she imparts "lessons" to Rex. Rex begins to express concern about some of the strange ways of the Catholic Church. The Catholic Family News recounts the rest of this part of the story:
During the course of instruction, as Father Mowbray tells Lady Marchmain, Rex challenges the priest, saying that he’s talked to a pious, well-educated Catholic and he’s learned a few things that Father Mowbray left out.
“For instance,” says Rex, “that you have to sleep with your feet pointing East, because that’s the direction of Heaven, and if you die at night you can walk there…. And what about the Pope who made one of his horses a cardinal? And what about the box you keep in the church porch, and if you put in a pound note with someone’s name on it, they go to Hell. I’m not saying that there mayn’t be a good reason for all this, but you ought to tell me about it and not let me find out for myself.”
When Father Mowbray and Lady Marchmain puzzle “who could Rex have been talking to?” the mischievous young Cordelia laughingly bursts, “What a chump! What a glorious chump! Oh, Mummy, who could have dreamed he’d swallow it all. I told him such a lot besides ... About sacred monkeys in the Vatican…”
My friends and I repeated that bit about sacred monkeys in the Vatican like a favorite prayer.
I like the idea of sacred monkeys in the Vatican - sort of reminds me of Oz! Good story, thanks for the write. The black cat is actually my own little snooty, snotty thing. It's one of the very few pics I have of her actually looking towards the camera - she usually turns her head.
It has taken a few years for all the childhood brainwashing to disappear - with the help of husband, Xeric. Religion can be a toxic, self-justified means to give oneself permission to judge, control others and scam money. It's not like one day I decided to walk away, it was a moderately slow process (of about 2 months or so) after being enlightened .
I won't say the name - let's just say it was VERY fundamental, independent, evangelical and strict! To know me now, you'd never guess I was "one of them"!
The black kitteh avatar hints at a remove from Christian fundamentalism. (love cats myself). I think that if I delved deeply into the arcana and minutia of Christian sects, I'd start to weep and/or laugh uncontrollably. So I'll just back away slowly and not press you for details. I'm such an unwashed heathen that I likely wouldn't understand half of what you told me.
This reminds me of the BBC adaptation of "Brideshead Revisited" from the early 80s, the one with Jeremy Irons and Anthony Andrews. AA plays Sebastian, a tortured Catholic from a titled British family. Sebastians' sister Julia is engaged to a rich but clueless American (Rex), who gamely undertakes lessons in Catholicism before converting as part of the marriage ceremony. The local priest gives him guidance, as does Julia's young sister Cordelia (played by Phoebe Nicholls, whom I just saw as Countess de Courcy in Amazon's "Dr. Thorne").
Unfortunately, Cordelia is a bit cruel and rather creative when she imparts "lessons" to Rex. Rex begins to express concern about some of the strange ways of the Catholic Church. The Catholic Family News recounts the rest of this part of the story:
During the course of instruction, as Father Mowbray tells Lady Marchmain, Rex challenges the priest, saying that he’s talked to a pious, well-educated Catholic and he’s learned a few things that Father Mowbray left out.
“For instance,” says Rex, “that you have to sleep with your feet pointing East, because that’s the direction of Heaven, and if you die at night you can walk there…. And what about the Pope who made one of his horses a cardinal? And what about the box you keep in the church porch, and if you put in a pound note with someone’s name on it, they go to Hell. I’m not saying that there mayn’t be a good reason for all this, but you ought to tell me about it and not let me find out for myself.”
When Father Mowbray and Lady Marchmain puzzle “who could Rex have been talking to?” the mischievous young Cordelia laughingly bursts, “What a chump! What a glorious chump! Oh, Mummy, who could have dreamed he’d swallow it all. I told him such a lot besides ... About sacred monkeys in the Vatican…”
My friends and I repeated that bit about sacred monkeys in the Vatican like a favorite prayer.
I won't say the name - let's just say it was VERY fundamental, independent, evangelical and strict! To know me now, you'd never guess I was "one of them"!
Yeesh! Which crazy-train cultreligion was this? I know a guy who was raised Seventh-Day Adventist (no Christmas for you kids!) and somehow he turned out OK. I've been watching an old docudrama on the Salem witch trials ("Three Sovereigns for Sarah") and you quickly realize how readily a strict religion becomes a mind-warping prison. I knew a fair number of casual Catholics who conveniently ignored church teachings that didn't suit them but still couldn't shake that pervasive feeling of guilt.
I won't say the name - let's just say it was VERY fundamental, independent, evangelical and strict! To know me now, you'd never guess I was "one of them"!
God, you are lucky. My sisters and I had to go every time the doors opened. My parents didn't, but we had to listen to those looooong boring sermons telling us that people who smoke and drink were going to hell...like my mom and dad and this was like in 2nd grade. It only got worse until I reached my 40s. SO thankful I'm now agnostic...sometimes atheist...depending on the topic of conversation.
Yeesh! Which crazy-train cultreligion was this? I know a guy who was raised Seventh-Day Adventist (no Christmas for you kids!) and somehow he turned out OK. I've been watching an old docudrama on the Salem witch trials ("Three Sovereigns for Sarah") and you quickly realize how readily a strict religion becomes a mind-warping prison. I knew a fair number of casual Catholics who conveniently ignored church teachings that didn't suit them but still couldn't shake that pervasive feeling of guilt.
Mercifully, my parents took my brothers and me to church less than ten times during our collective childhood and then gave it up. Virgin birth, holy ghost, rising from the dead, trans/consubstantiation...we missed out on all that stuff.
Apparently a lot of people can remember the doctrine and miracle stories but can't apply moral lessons to their own lives. Amazing how many devoted churchgoers are spiteful, smug and hypocritical despite having to listen to someone yawp about being Christian for hours.
Maybe the Donald could start his own religion with levels of Trumpiness that you could purchase. It'd be like Trump University meets Scientology.
God, you are lucky. My sisters and I had to go every time the doors opened. My parents didn't, but we had to listen to those looooong boring sermons telling us that people who smoke and drink were going to hell...like my mom and dad and this was like in 2nd grade. It only got worse until I reached my 40s. SO thankful I'm now agnostic...sometimes atheist...depending on the topic of conversation.
I could never get past the duality of Man. Is there a quad thing? Sometimes I do better if I skip ahead.
The four horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Mercifully, my parents took my brothers and me to church less than ten times during our collective childhood and then gave it up. Virgin birth, holy ghost, rising from the dead, trans/consubstantiation...we missed out on all that stuff.
Apparently a lot of people can remember the doctrine and miracle stories but can't apply moral lessons to their own lives. Amazing how many devoted churchgoers are spiteful, smug and hypocritical despite having to listen to someone yawp about being Christian for hours.
Maybe the Donald could start his own religion with levels of Trumpiness that you could purchase. It'd be like Trump University meets Scientology.
This Style Guide to Covering Trump Honestly and Fairly is too late for me, since I work at The Post, which has had its credentials revoked by the Trump campaign. But it may not be too late for you, other members of the media! Please read and implement!
The Pillars of Covering Trump: ...
Thucydides, Whitman and Trump's hair as the manifestation of the triune nature of God. Brilliant.
This Style Guide to Covering Trump Honestly and Fairly is too late for me, since I work at The Post, which has had its credentials revoked by the Trump campaign. But it may not be too late for you, other members of the media! Please read and implement!
The Pillars of Covering Trump: 1. Donald Trump is never wrong. Donald Trump is infallible — like the pope but with more raw sexual charisma. If Donald Trump appears to be wrong in a story, either because of a statement or an action, or some combination of the two, it should be rewritten so that he is not wrong. A good baseline for what is fair and honest coverage is that fair and honest coverage depicts Donald Trump as the shining, golden god he is, envied of men and beloved of women. Unfair, dishonest coverage does not depict Donald Trump this way.
2. Style is as important as substance. A good post about Donald Trump includes at least one of the following words: “huge,” “great,” “manly,” “terrific,” “incredible,” “fantastic,” “remarkable,” “big”/”bigly,” “immense,” “girthy,” “magisterial,” “gargantuan,” “tumescent.” Ideally, this word would be in the headline. A bad post about Donald Trump includes the words or phrases “puny,” “dangerous,” “Godwin’s law,” “cocktail shrimp in a toupee,” “husk of dead skin and hyperbole,” “garbage fart,” “what results if you accidentally leave Guy Fieri in a microwave.”
3. Does Donald Trump contradict himself? Very well; he contradicts himself. Donald Trump is large. Donald Trump contains multitudes.
4. Who among us has not been in the position where what he means to say is something wise and temperate and what actually comes out of his mouth is a garbage fart? Equipped with this knowledge, it is often best to take into account what Donald Trump should have said and to report that instead of what he actually did say. (The great historian Thucydides used to do this, which is why Pericles’s Funeral Oration is so lovely.)
5. Remember the transitive property of Trump: Whenever Donald Trump loves something, it loves him back. Donald Trump loves women. Therefore, women love Donald Trump. Donald Trump loves Hispanics. Therefore, Hispanics love Donald Trump. Any polls that obscure these truths should be disregarded.
6. Donald Trump’s hair is real. Well, no. “Real” is putting it too mildly. Donald Trump’s hair is a fact that transcends reality or unreality, not to be questioned, merely to be admired, like the triune nature of God or the singular beauty and excellence of a Donald Trump building.
7. Two words: LARGE HANDS.
8. Facts are often biased against Donald Trump and should be used sparingly in reporting, if at all. Think of them as a garnish, not an entree.
9. Donald Trump’s word suffices. Fact-checking is at best gauche and at worst treasonous. What is fact? Donald Trump speaks truth, which is bigger than fact. Donald Trump loves you. You love Donald Trump.
10. Donald Trump believes that criticism is healthy. As Noel Coward put it, Donald Trump can take any amount of criticism, so long as it is unqualified praise.
Some Frequently Asked Questions on Fair Trump Coverage
Q: Can I just print a transcript of what Donald Trump actually said? A: No. This is very mean and bad. What Donald Trump actually says is, of course, uniformly good and correct. But sometimes if you just write it out and give it to people to see, they will not think so. Therefore, this is to be avoided.
Q: What is a fair question? A: An example of a fair question is “Donald Trump, why are you so good at business?” An example of an unfair or gotcha question is “Why did Lincoln succeed?”
Q: Can I describe what someone did at a Donald Trump rally? A: Yes, if that someone is Donald Trump and what that someone did was “be awesome without interruption.”
Q: What if Donald Trump didn’t answer my question? A: Not true. Donald Trump has given you the answer. Your question was not correct. This isn’t hard, just think of it like “Jeopardy!”
Q: In the statement issued by the Donald Trump campaign stating that it will stop credentialing Post reporters, the campaign said, “Mr. Trump does not mind a bad story, but it has to be honest.” What is a bad story that is honest that Mr. Trump would not mind? A: A story about Hillary Clinton.
Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences." ï Follow @petridishes
what results if you accidentally leave Guy Fieri in a microwave... I spewed.
This Style Guide to Covering Trump Honestly and Fairly is too late for me, since I work at The Post, which has had its credentials revoked by the Trump campaign. But it may not be too late for you, other members of the media! Please read and implement!
The Pillars of Covering Trump: 1. Donald Trump is never wrong. Donald Trump is infallible — like the pope but with more raw sexual charisma. If Donald Trump appears to be wrong in a story, either because of a statement or an action, or some combination of the two, it should be rewritten so that he is not wrong. A good baseline for what is fair and honest coverage is that fair and honest coverage depicts Donald Trump as the shining, golden god he is, envied of men and beloved of women. Unfair, dishonest coverage does not depict Donald Trump this way.
2. Style is as important as substance. A good post about Donald Trump includes at least one of the following words: “huge,” “great,” “manly,” “terrific,” “incredible,” “fantastic,” “remarkable,” “big”/”bigly,” “immense,” “girthy,” “magisterial,” “gargantuan,” “tumescent.” Ideally, this word would be in the headline. A bad post about Donald Trump includes the words or phrases “puny,” “dangerous,” “Godwin’s law,” “cocktail shrimp in a toupee,” “husk of dead skin and hyperbole,” “garbage fart,” “what results if you accidentally leave Guy Fieri in a microwave.”
3. Does Donald Trump contradict himself? Very well; he contradicts himself. Donald Trump is large. Donald Trump contains multitudes.
4. Who among us has not been in the position where what he means to say is something wise and temperate and what actually comes out of his mouth is a garbage fart? Equipped with this knowledge, it is often best to take into account what Donald Trump should have said and to report that instead of what he actually did say. (The great historian Thucydides used to do this, which is why Pericles’s Funeral Oration is so lovely.)
5. Remember the transitive property of Trump: Whenever Donald Trump loves something, it loves him back. Donald Trump loves women. Therefore, women love Donald Trump. Donald Trump loves Hispanics. Therefore, Hispanics love Donald Trump. Any polls that obscure these truths should be disregarded.
6. Donald Trump’s hair is real. Well, no. “Real” is putting it too mildly. Donald Trump’s hair is a fact that transcends reality or unreality, not to be questioned, merely to be admired, like the triune nature of God or the singular beauty and excellence of a Donald Trump building.
7. Two words: LARGE HANDS.
8. Facts are often biased against Donald Trump and should be used sparingly in reporting, if at all. Think of them as a garnish, not an entree.
9. Donald Trump’s word suffices. Fact-checking is at best gauche and at worst treasonous. What is fact? Donald Trump speaks truth, which is bigger than fact. Donald Trump loves you. You love Donald Trump.
10. Donald Trump believes that criticism is healthy. As Noel Coward put it, Donald Trump can take any amount of criticism, so long as it is unqualified praise.
Some Frequently Asked Questions on Fair Trump Coverage
Q: Can I just print a transcript of what Donald Trump actually said? A: No. This is very mean and bad. What Donald Trump actually says is, of course, uniformly good and correct. But sometimes if you just write it out and give it to people to see, they will not think so. Therefore, this is to be avoided.
Q: What is a fair question? A: An example of a fair question is “Donald Trump, why are you so good at business?” An example of an unfair or gotcha question is “Why did Lincoln succeed?”
Q: Can I describe what someone did at a Donald Trump rally? A: Yes, if that someone is Donald Trump and what that someone did was “be awesome without interruption.”
Q: What if Donald Trump didn’t answer my question? A: Not true. Donald Trump has given you the answer. Your question was not correct. This isn’t hard, just think of it like “Jeopardy!”
Q: In the statement issued by the Donald Trump campaign stating that it will stop credentialing Post reporters, the campaign said, “Mr. Trump does not mind a bad story, but it has to be honest.” What is a bad story that is honest that Mr. Trump would not mind? A: A story about Hillary Clinton.
Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences." ï Follow @petridishes