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KurtfromLaQuinta

KurtfromLaQuinta Avatar

Location: Really deep in the heart of South California
Gender: Male


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 12:53pm

I think the important part here is... don't call a spider a spider. {#Mrgreen}
winter

winter Avatar

Location: in exile, as always
Gender: Male


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 12:49pm

KurtfromLaQuinta wrote:

OLD VERSION

The
ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION

The
ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.


How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama
condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.. The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.


Interesting.

And what of the ladybug who couldn't make ends meet because ants wouldn't pay a ladybug the same wages as an ant? Or the snail who'd love to work but can't because he's just too slow for the modern ant economy? And the ants of a different color who couldn't get jobs in the nest?

Come to think of it, don't ants live in nests and share with each other - serving the queen, caring for the young, gathering food, defending the nest, building and maintaining an intricate system of tunnels - all collectively?

Interesting.

KurtfromLaQuinta

KurtfromLaQuinta Avatar

Location: Really deep in the heart of South California
Gender: Male


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 12:23pm


OLD VERSION

The
ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION

The
ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.


How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's  sake.  

President Obama
condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.. The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:  Be careful how you vote in 2010.


DaveInSaoMiguel

DaveInSaoMiguel Avatar

Location: No longer in a hovel in effluent Damnville, VA
Gender: Male


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 12:22pm

Shoes for industry, shoes for the dead! What chance does a returning deceased war veteran have for that good paying job, more sugar and that free mule you’re dreaming of? Well, think it over. Then take off your shoes. Now you can see how increased spending opportunities mean harder work for everyone…and more of it, too!

Looks like Firesign had it right all along...


buzz

buzz Avatar

Location: up the boohai


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 12:06pm

 miamizsun wrote:

I'd like some free cheese with my new government job too. {#Lol}
 
it will account for a large portion of your gov paycheck

 
i wonder if the gov can crank out cheese as fast as they crank out dollars
 

 
i wonder if i can pay my mortgage in cheese


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3283.1 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 12:05pm

 buzz wrote:

the good news is that, eventually, we will all be working for the gov.

 
I'd like some free cheese with my new government job too. {#Lol}
buzz

buzz Avatar

Location: up the boohai


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 11:58am

 miamizsun wrote:
In the headlines on the same day...

Personal Income Drops Across the Country
Personal income in 42 states fell in 2009, the Commerce Department said Thursday.

Now contrast that with this:

2,000 House staffers make six figures.
Nearly 2,000 House of Representative staffers pulled down six-figure salaries in 2009, including 43 staffers who earned the maximum $172,500 - or more than three times the median U.S. household income.

 

 
the good news is that, eventually, we will all be working for the gov.


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3283.1 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Mar 27, 2010 - 11:53am

In the headlines on the same day...

Personal Income Drops Across the Country
Personal income in 42 states fell in 2009, the Commerce Department said Thursday.

Now contrast that with this:

2,000 House staffers make six figures.
Nearly 2,000 House of Representative staffers pulled down six-figure salaries in 2009, including 43 staffers who earned the maximum $172,500 - or more than three times the median U.S. household income.

 



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