The word "karma" is thrown around a lot; here is a proper explanation of the term
The Concept Karma in Buddhism
Karma (or kamma) in Buddhism means “action”. In popular discourse, it is often linked to fate or predestination. Karma however, refers to actions that are undertaken consciously. Stated simply, the Law of Karma decrees that every deed we perform knowingly will eventually produce similar results.
Just as the physical universe is governed by the laws of cause and effect, so too in the moral sphere. In Buddhist philosophy, Karma Vipaka is voluntary, willed action and the entire scope of its effects. Karma Phala is intentional action and its result. The Law of Karma in its entirety therefore, refers to both conscious action and its consequences in the fullness of time.
In Buddhism, the notion of Karma goes beyond a simplistic division into ‘good’ or ‘evil’. Instead, Buddhist texts speak of ‘Kushala karma’ and ‘Akushala karma’. Kushala means ‘skilled’, ‘intelligent’ and ‘wholesome’, while Akushala means the opposite. Wholesome actions benefit oneself and society at large. They arise from wisdom, feelings of love, kindness, compassion and lead to happiness. Unwholesome actions on the other hand, originate from desire (in the sense of greed), ignorance and ill-will; their consequence is suffering.
All actions emanate from three sources – the body, mind and speech. Buddhist texts list ten negative actions from these sources that comprise Akushala Karma:
Actions of the body: Killing, robbing, sexual misconduct Actions of the mind: Avarice, anger, delusion Actions of speech: Lying, harsh words, spiteful gossip, slander
The fruits (Phala) of Karma may manifest themselves during one’s present life, the following life, or after several rebirths. While the short-term results of Karma can be easily verified by us, it takes an enlightened being like the Buddha to perceive long-term effects of Karma.
It took me many many years to forgive myself for allowing people to treat me the way they have. Now that I understand why I do it, I am not bitter. It is my nature to be a bodhisattva.
That's pretty Zen.
Me, I came out of the Chris Rock School of Sayin' It How It Is.
Well, maybe you should add that as a footnote. People will take advantage of you. Try not to be bitter about it. I think you're a great person.
P.S. I think the Desiderata (I'm sure you've read it) says it all. "Ge gentle on yourself."
Thank you. I give because I want to, not because I get any appreciation for it. It's my choice whether or not to say no.
It took me many many years to forgive myself for allowing people to treat me the way they have. Now that I understand why I do it, I am not bitter. It is my nature to be a bodhisattva.
Life shouldn't be so selfish, HC. It's not all about me. No way. There's good judgement and bad judgement and some folks know the difference. Maybe I'm being too optimistic.
That isn't being selfish, it is nourishing yourself so you can be the best for others.
As a person who gave so much to others that I completely lost my own identity, I have had to learn to practice these things.
My family so expected me to live like they wanted me to that when I stopped doing that, they didn't like it, but I still have to be myself.
Life shouldn't be so selfish, HC. It's not all about me. No way. There's good judgement and bad judgement and some folks know the difference. Maybe I'm being too optimistic.
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you. People may have heard your stories, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life. So forget what they say about you. Focus on how you feel about yourself, and do what you know in your heart is right.
Here are ten things to do even if others judge you for it:
Take care of yourself. – Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever have. If you don’t take good care of yourself, then you can’t take good care of others either; which is why taking care of yourself is the best selfish thing you can do. Read The Mastery of Love.
Do what you know is right, for YOU. – Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be. Keep doing what you know in your heart is right, for you. Because when you are totally at peace within yourself, nothing can shake you.
Follow your own unique path. – Every new day is a chance to change your life. Work on making life all that you want it to be. Work hard for what you believe, and keep your dreams big and your worries small. You never need to carry more than you can hold; just take it one day at a time. And while you’re out there making decisions instead of excuses, learning new things, and getting closer and closer to your goals, know that there are others out there, like me, who admire your efforts and are striving for greatness too.
Lock yourself away from the world and work on your goals. – Dream big dreams, but realize that short term, realistic goals are the key to success. Success is directly connected with daily action. The way we spend our time defines who we are. Successful people keep moving, by doing small things every day that bring them a couple steps closer to their dream. They make mistakes along the way, but they don’t quit – they learn and press on. Read Getting Things Done.
Adjust your goals and dreams as life changes. – A great deal of pain in life comes from having a specific dream that you’ve fallen in love with, and when it doesn’t work out exactly as planned, you become angry that you now have to pursue a different path. If you want to tame your inner demons and make the most of life, you must not become rigidly attached to just one specific dream, and remain open to there being an even better, equally as happy path ahead. Life is unpredictable, but it provides plenty of opportunities to make dreams come true. Just don’t forget that sometimes taking a positive step forward requires you to slightly adjust your dreams, or plan new ones – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
Forgive those who have wronged you. – Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong and wise. Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past. To understand the potential of everything going forward is to forgive everything already behind you. Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and moving on can never be accomplished. What happened in the past is just one chapter. Don’t close the book, just turn the page.
Show everyone your love and kindness. – If you are reserving your love only for those who you have decided are worthy of it – all strangers excluded – it may come as a surprise to learn that this is not love at all, it is called judgment. Judgment is selective, love is all embracing. Just as the sunlight and the wind do not discriminate, true love does not make any such distinctions either. Love and kindness is a way of living. Where there is love, there is no judgment. Where there is judgment, there is no love. Read The 5 Love Languages.
Stand up for others, even if it’s the unpopular thing to do. – Sometimes you will say something really small and simple, but it will fit right into an empty space in someone’s heart. Dare to reach into the darkness, to pull someone else into the light. Remember, strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others too, and lend a hand when they’re able.
Fight through your failures. – When you are feeling down or dealing with failure, don’t be ashamed. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are going through a difficult time, and you are still pushing forward. That’s something to be proud of – that you are fighting through it and slowly rising above it. Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Keep your head held high and keep on smiling. – Every day of your life is a page of your history. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. Don’t cry over the past, cry to get over the past. Don’t smile to hide the pain, smile to heal the pain. Don’t think of all the sadness in the world, think of all the beauty that still remains around you
High school-like situations may not end when we graduate (adult relationships, auditions, the workplace), but we can get much better at handling them.
These are the fifteen things I learned the “long” way:
They can keep puberty and daily life (at any age) from being the end of the world.
1. If your love interest (or employer) doesn’t notice, like, or love you “that way,” it does NOT mean there is something wrong with you. It simply means they are wrong for you right now.
2. How people treat you says more about them than it does about you. It’s not always personal or all about you.
3. Everybody has insecurities, they just manifest differently in every person.
4. Bullies and gossips are more insecure than their targets. “Haters” need your sympathy and prayers more than your hurt and anger.
6. When you are secure you’re not so easily offended by what people say or think.
7. Envy is a waste of time: if something good happens to someone else, it means it can happen to you. If you can’t have what someone else has, you can have something else better for you.
8. The strongest person is not necessarily the person with the biggest muscles or loudest voice.
9. The beauty in someone else does not take away from the beauty in you. Trust that you have beauty, talents, and gifts—whatever company you keep.
10. You don’t have to do anything to be more beautiful, but you may have to put in work to feel beautiful everyday.
12. Loving everybody does not necessarily mean making everyone your BFF. It’s okay to be selective about your inner circle.
13. People-pleasing is the easiest way to lose your authentic self. Don’t let others’ opinions or fear of rejection have power over your God-given gut instinct.
14. Standing for something doesn’t mean standing for everything. Be prepared to disappoint some for the greater good; be prepared to accept those who disagree.
15. The “oops” you have made are not mistakes or regrets per se; they are lessons to help you and/or others do better. It may even be a blessing in disguise. You may not see it now; it may take time to see what the lesson or blessing is. Be patient with yourself. Let your story unfold.
Xian Horn is a joyful half-Asian woman with Cerebral Palsy, serving as writer, mentor, and positivity activist. A member of an international network of extraordinary women, 85 Broads, she was heralded by founder Janet Hanson as an “amazing role model for all women.” With her personal stories and ongoing mentoring work, Xian Horn is invested in contributing positively to self-esteem and the collective self-image, especially for women. To support her True Beauty efforts for people with disabilities, please join Xian’s Facebook community and follow her on twitter here.
There once lived a Brahmin whose wife was a devoted follower of the Buddha. At first, he was indulgent towards her admiration. As her faith in the Buddha increased, the husband began to feel jealous.
One day, he went to meet the Buddha with a plan to ask him a question which he thought the Buddha would be incapable of answering. That way, he thought, his wife’s reverence for the Buddha would diminish.
Face-to-face with the Buddha, he asked, “What is it that must be killed so that we may be able to live in happiness and peace?”
The Buddha replied: “To live thus, we have to kill anger, for it is anger that destroys happiness and peace.”
The Buddha’s words so inspired the husband that not only did his anger melt away, but he decided to join the order of monks. Eventually, he became an arahant or enlightened being.
His younger brother, on hearing about this transformation, became furious. He confronted the Buddha with a torrent of abuse. The Buddha sat quietly until he had finished. Then he asked the agitated man: “If you served food to a guest at your home and the guest went away without eating anything, to whom would the food belong?”
The Brahmin, caught unawares, replied: “To me, I suppose.”
Said the Buddha calmly: “Like the guest, I too do not accept your insults, so they belong to you.”
The Brahmin was left speechless. Like his brother, he realized his folly and joined the monkhood.
The other monks who had witnessed this could not contain their admiration for the Buddha’s ability to reveal the path of Dharma even to those who inflicted abuse upon him. The Buddha’s simple reply to them was:
“I do not return one wrong with another...”
I dig that. We've started as of late practicing the no-anger principle in our household. All in all, it's been a much nicer week for us.
There once lived a Brahmin whose wife was a devoted follower of the Buddha. At first, he was indulgent towards her admiration. As her faith in the Buddha increased, the husband began to feel jealous.
One day, he went to meet the Buddha with a plan to ask him a question which he thought the Buddha would be incapable of answering. That way, he thought, his wife’s reverence for the Buddha would diminish.
Face-to-face with the Buddha, he asked, “What is it that must be killed so that we may be able to live in happiness and peace?”
The Buddha replied: “To live thus, we have to kill anger, for it is anger that destroys happiness and peace.”
The Buddha’s words so inspired the husband that not only did his anger melt away, but he decided to join the order of monks. Eventually, he became an arahant or enlightened being.
His younger brother, on hearing about this transformation, became furious. He confronted the Buddha with a torrent of abuse. The Buddha sat quietly until he had finished. Then he asked the agitated man: “If you served food to a guest at your home and the guest went away without eating anything, to whom would the food belong?”
The Brahmin, caught unawares, replied: “To me, I suppose.”
Said the Buddha calmly: “Like the guest, I too do not accept your insults, so they belong to you.”
The Brahmin was left speechless. Like his brother, he realized his folly and joined the monkhood.
The other monks who had witnessed this could not contain their admiration for the Buddha’s ability to reveal the path of Dharma even to those who inflicted abuse upon him. The Buddha’s simple reply to them was:
There is no lasting and constructive understanding of spiritual growth without a deep and impulsive sense of introspection contrasted with attitude. IOW, knowledge of spirituality incarnate is knowledge of what self must do to act upon realization; inwardly projecting outwardly to reflect back inwardly. Not us, we, them, they, you...but me / myself / I
It is time to develop a big ‘US’, rather than the old ‘us and them’ that lets us to exploit and bully others on a personal level, and on an international level to wage war. The East must see the West as part of ‘US’ and the North must come to feel that the South is part of ‘US’. We should include the entire world in our concern, wishing all humanity well. If we can do that there will be no room for hatred, thinking of others as enemies. And we will achieve this through education, not through prayer.
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