One day while Groucho Marx, (who loathed pretension), was working in his garden, dressed in well-worn gardening attire, a wealthy woman pulled up in a Cadillac and attempted to persuade the "gardener" to come and work for her.
"How much does the lady of the house pay you?" she asked. "Oh, I don't get paid in dollars," Groucho replied, looking up. "The lady of the house just a lets me sleep with her."
Location: No longer in a hovel in effluent Damnville, VA Gender:
Posted:
Sep 5, 2015 - 6:49am
Oh, to be a clever teacher!!!!!!
At Yale University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident, that the weekend before finals they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all daySundayand didn't make it back to Old Eli until earlyMondaymorning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They told him they had visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam. The next day the professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They all quickly answered the first chem problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page. On the second page was written...
Location: No longer in a hovel in effluent Damnville, VA Gender:
Posted:
Apr 8, 2015 - 6:24am
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin'...perhaps its aboot time you let me pewt ma hand on yer knee." The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.
Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
And he said, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"
A little girl approached her father one afternoon after school and hesitantly asked "Daddy, where did I come from". The father could not help but appear shaken and said "Sweetheart your mommy and I have been planning to have this talk with you, let me get mommy". When the mother came into the room, they sat together and began, "Sweetheart, you know how your dog Lily had puppies last year? Well, when a man and woman love each, they sometime's want to show that love physically and ...." The little girl l interrupted ..."Eww Eww, DAD! I mean where did I come from? My friend Sally came from Illinois! Where did I come from?!
Hey, Val...
Long time no see... hope things are going well.
Went to your site and watched this mesmerising video... cool stuff.
A little girl approached her father one afternoon after school and hesitantly asked "Daddy, where did I come from". The father could not help but appear shaken and said "Sweetheart your mommy and I have been planning to have this talk with you, let me get mommy". When the mother came into the room, they sat together and began, "Sweetheart, you know how your dog Lily had puppies last year? Well, when a man and woman love each, they sometime's want to show that love physically and ...." The little girl l interrupted ..."Eww Eww, DAD! I mean where did I come from? My friend Sally came from Illinois! Where did I come from?!
