Joe Biden
- R_P - Jun 28, 2024 - 6:06pm
The Obituary Page
- Red_Dragon - Jun 28, 2024 - 6:00pm
What makes you smile?
- R_P - Jun 28, 2024 - 5:45pm
Trump
- R_P - Jun 28, 2024 - 5:26pm
Sonos
- RPnate1 - Jun 28, 2024 - 4:52pm
The Presidential Debates
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 28, 2024 - 4:38pm
Today in History
- Bill_J - Jun 28, 2024 - 3:19pm
Climate Change
- R_P - Jun 28, 2024 - 2:33pm
Live Music
- oldviolin - Jun 28, 2024 - 2:26pm
Name My Band
- oldviolin - Jun 28, 2024 - 2:15pm
Radio Paradise Comments
- GeneP59 - Jun 28, 2024 - 1:31pm
NYTimes Connections
- Steely_D - Jun 28, 2024 - 12:58pm
NY Times Strands
- Steely_D - Jun 28, 2024 - 12:55pm
Wordle - daily game
- maryte - Jun 28, 2024 - 9:17am
Israel
- R_P - Jun 28, 2024 - 8:09am
Song of the Day
- oldviolin - Jun 28, 2024 - 7:31am
Love & Hate
- miamizsun - Jun 28, 2024 - 5:06am
Ambient Music
- miamizsun - Jun 28, 2024 - 5:02am
You are all WRONG!
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 27, 2024 - 9:18pm
Little known information... maybe even facts
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 27, 2024 - 9:15pm
Lyrics That Remind You of Someone
- oldviolin - Jun 27, 2024 - 6:40pm
Mixtape Culture Club
- KurtfromLaQuinta - Jun 27, 2024 - 4:36pm
NASA & other news from space
- miamizsun - Jun 27, 2024 - 3:12pm
Derplahoma!
- Red_Dragon - Jun 27, 2024 - 12:47pm
RightWingNutZ
- R_P - Jun 27, 2024 - 11:00am
Russia
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 27, 2024 - 9:50am
LeftWingNutZ
- Proclivities - Jun 27, 2024 - 9:31am
USA! USA! USA!
- R_P - Jun 26, 2024 - 5:41pm
iOS app download manager problem
- RPnate1 - Jun 26, 2024 - 12:25pm
What is your favorite music video?
- ScottFromWyoming - Jun 26, 2024 - 11:39am
Post your favorite 'You Tube' Videos Here
- Red_Dragon - Jun 26, 2024 - 10:10am
2024 Elections!
- R_P - Jun 26, 2024 - 9:13am
June 2024 Photo Theme - Eyes
- fractalv - Jun 26, 2024 - 8:30am
SCOTUS
- Red_Dragon - Jun 26, 2024 - 8:10am
WikiLeaks
- R_P - Jun 26, 2024 - 6:50am
Anti-War
- R_P - Jun 26, 2024 - 6:11am
Ukraine
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 26, 2024 - 5:11am
Hockey + Fantasy Hockey
- GeneP59 - Jun 25, 2024 - 8:59pm
::odd but intriguing::
- Beaker - Jun 25, 2024 - 4:09pm
• • • The Once-a-Day • • •
- oldviolin - Jun 25, 2024 - 11:26am
*** PUNS *** FRUIT
- Proclivities - Jun 25, 2024 - 11:23am
Cryptic Posts - Leave Them Guessing
- oldviolin - Jun 25, 2024 - 11:10am
Things You Thought Today
- Red_Dragon - Jun 25, 2024 - 8:37am
Music Videos
- miamizsun - Jun 25, 2024 - 8:11am
Bug Reports & Feature Requests
- wossName - Jun 25, 2024 - 4:47am
China
- NoEnzLefttoSplit - Jun 25, 2024 - 4:44am
MTV's The Real World
- R_P - Jun 24, 2024 - 11:11pm
Breaking News
- Red_Dragon - Jun 24, 2024 - 5:35pm
Baseball, anyone?
- rgio - Jun 24, 2024 - 5:02pm
Outstanding Covers
- oldviolin - Jun 24, 2024 - 10:45am
How do you create optimism?
- R_P - Jun 24, 2024 - 8:27am
Solar / Wind / Geothermal / Efficiency Energy
- R_P - Jun 23, 2024 - 8:04pm
Strips, cartoons, illustrations
- R_P - Jun 23, 2024 - 7:49pm
favorite love songs
- thisbody - Jun 23, 2024 - 3:35pm
Prog Rockers Anonymous
- thisbody - Jun 23, 2024 - 2:24pm
The Dragons' Roost
- thisbody - Jun 23, 2024 - 2:01pm
Dumb Laws
- thisbody - Jun 23, 2024 - 1:51pm
BEATLES Make History AGAIN!!
- thisbody - Jun 23, 2024 - 9:12am
TV shows you watch
- R_P - Jun 23, 2024 - 8:57am
Congress
- R_P - Jun 22, 2024 - 5:53pm
What do you snack on?
- thisbody - Jun 22, 2024 - 3:20pm
Photography Forum - Your Own Photos
- Alchemist - Jun 22, 2024 - 2:44pm
What did you have for dinner?
- triskele - Jun 22, 2024 - 2:31pm
Jam! (why should a song stop)
- thisbody - Jun 22, 2024 - 1:53pm
Things I Saw Today...
- R_P - Jun 22, 2024 - 1:38pm
Some bands or songs are recurring too much in Rock channe...
- mlebihan29 - Jun 22, 2024 - 9:26am
Fox Spews
- R_P - Jun 22, 2024 - 9:19am
Too much classic rock lately?
- thisbody - Jun 21, 2024 - 4:01pm
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
- oldviolin - Jun 21, 2024 - 2:22pm
Musky Mythology
- R_P - Jun 21, 2024 - 12:26pm
Electronic Music
- Manbird - Jun 21, 2024 - 12:14pm
Basketball
- GeneP59 - Jun 20, 2024 - 4:53pm
Gotta Get Your Drink On
- Antigone - Jun 20, 2024 - 4:04pm
Shall We Dance?
- Steely_D - Jun 20, 2024 - 1:18pm
Predictions
- oldviolin - Jun 20, 2024 - 11:18am
|
Index »
Radio Paradise/General »
General Discussion »
~ Have a good joke you can post? ~
|
Page: Previous 1, 2, 3 ... 27, 28, 29 ... 311, 312, 313 Next |
justlistening
Location: So. California Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 18, 2011 - 9:20am |
|
I dialed a number and got the following recording: 'I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.'
|
|
aflanigan
Location: At Sea Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 17, 2011 - 12:39pm |
|
With the advent of spring, hibernating animals will again become active. The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING to remind hikers and campers to be careful in areas where bears may be encountered. They're urging everyone to protect themselves by wearing bells and carrying pepper spray to ward off bears.
Campers and hikers should be alert for signs of fresh bear activity, including bear droppings, and they should be able to tell the difference between Black Bear dung and Grizzy Bear dung.
Black Bear dung is rather small and round. Sometimes you can see fruit seeds and/or squirrel fur in it.
Grizzly Bear dung has bells in it, and smells like pepper spray
|
|
Proclivities
Location: Paris of the Piedmont Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 17, 2011 - 12:21pm |
|
A severly disturbed geography teacher killed six people who did not know the capital of Scotland. Police say he's still on the loose and remind everyone that the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh.
-George Carlin (I think)
|
|
justlistening
Location: So. California Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 17, 2011 - 11:39am |
|
aflanigan wrote:You can say what you like about child molesters, but at least they drive slowly near schools and playgrounds.
okay, again eww. but i did laugh.
|
|
aflanigan
Location: At Sea Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 17, 2011 - 11:33am |
|
You can say what you like about child molesters, but at least they drive slowly near schools and playgrounds.
|
|
beamends
|
Posted:
Feb 16, 2011 - 11:02am |
|
Proclivities wrote: There was a fire at the circus; the flames were in tents.
Groan.........
|
|
Proclivities
Location: Paris of the Piedmont Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 16, 2011 - 9:37am |
|
aflanigan wrote:There are reports that someone cut a hole in the fence surrounding the nudist colony.
The police are looking into it.
There was a fire at the circus; the flames were in tents.
|
|
HazzeSwede
Location: Hammerdal Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 16, 2011 - 12:48am |
|
|
|
justlistening
Location: So. California Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 15, 2011 - 2:08pm |
|
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.
|
|
lily34
Location: GTFO Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 14, 2011 - 11:12am |
|
beamends wrote:The Police came round list night and said our dog hand been chasing a child on a bicycle. I told them to stop being stupid, our dog can't ride a bike.
|
|
aflanigan
Location: At Sea Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 14, 2011 - 11:06am |
|
There are reports that someone cut a hole in the fence surrounding the nudist colony.
The police are looking into it.
|
|
hippiechick
Location: topsy turvy land Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 14, 2011 - 10:45am |
|
beamends wrote:The Police came round list night and said our dog hand been chasing a child on a bicycle. I told them to stop being stupid, our dog can't ride a bike.
har har har
|
|
beamends
|
Posted:
Feb 14, 2011 - 10:43am |
|
The Police came round list night and said our dog hand been chasing a child on a bicycle. I told them to stop being stupid, our dog can't ride a bike.
|
|
Alexandra
Location: PNW Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 14, 2011 - 3:11am |
|
justlistening wrote:
"Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' Like....Helloooooo?....It's only 25 cents!!!!" (disclaimer: I don't believe women can't be football fans so please excuse the sterotype)
|
|
justlistening
Location: So. California Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 13, 2011 - 9:31pm |
|
aflanigan wrote:What did the hungry clock do?
It went back four seconds.
Okay, if we're going there: Why was 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
|
|
aflanigan
Location: At Sea Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 13, 2011 - 9:28pm |
|
What did the hungry clock do?
It went back four seconds.
|
|
aflanigan
Location: At Sea Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 13, 2011 - 9:24pm |
|
A little boy and her mother were at church one day when the child announced, 'mommy, I have to go potty!" The embarrassed mother took the child to the bathroom and informed him, "we don't use crude language like "potty" in church".
Well, what do I say when I have to go?
"Just tell me you have to whisper" said the mother.
Next week, with mom out of town the father took the boy to church.
Halfway through the service, he said,"Daddy, I have to whisper".
"OK, do it in my ear."
|
|
aflanigan
Location: At Sea Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 13, 2011 - 9:20pm |
|
What do you call a diminutive fortune teller on the run from the authorities?
A small medium at large.
|
|
justlistening
Location: So. California Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 13, 2011 - 9:02pm |
|
Alexandra wrote:This is not uproariously funny...but it'll probably make you grin.
Once there was an old convent that needed all kinds of renovation work done. As soon as the funds came through from the diocese, the Reverend Mother hired a team of carpenters and construction workers for the job. About two days into the job, she noticed that many of the nuns—especially the younger ones, were blushing a lot and giggling behind their hands whenever she'd pass them in the corridor by the courtyard where the men were working.
Suspicious, she stuck her head out the window and discovered the reason for the blushing and giggling. The men were using the foulest, most raw language she had ever heard in her life—-and it was completely unacceptable. She immediately called for the foreman.
"Sir, I can't have your men out there cussing like sailors and using that kind of language around my impressionable young novices...that is simply unacceptable. I want you to talk to them and ask them to stop it at once!"
The foreman kicked the ground with his boot, hitched a thumb in his belt and shook his head. "Aw Sister, with all due respect, I can't do that. These men are hardened laborers that do a lot of rough work, day in and day out. They don't have to be gentlemen when they're on the job. Every once in a while, they're going to call a spade a spade—-you know what I mean?"
"But that's just it," the Reverend Mother replied, irritated. "They don't call it a spade. They call it a fucking shovel!!!"
You're right! It made me grin - and laugh. Perhaps the one below will do the same: A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right at their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants & all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a 25-cent coin, one team got it & then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... "Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' Like....Helloooooo?....It's only 25 cents!!!!" (disclaimer: I don't believe women can't be football fans so please excuse the sterotype)
|
|
Alexandra
Location: PNW Gender:
|
Posted:
Feb 13, 2011 - 8:42pm |
|
This is not uproariously funny...but it'll probably make you grin.
Once there was an old convent that needed all kinds of renovation work done. As soon as the funds came through from the diocese, the Reverend Mother hired a team of carpenters and construction workers for the job. About two days into the job, she noticed that many of the nuns—especially the younger ones, were blushing a lot and giggling behind their hands whenever she'd pass them in the corridor by the courtyard where the men were working.
Suspicious, she stuck her head out the window and discovered the reason for the blushing and giggling. The men were using the foulest, most raw language she had ever heard in her life—-and it was completely unacceptable. She immediately called for the foreman.
"Sir, I can't have your men out there cussing like sailors and using that kind of language around my impressionable young novices...that is simply unacceptable. I want you to talk to them and ask them to stop it at once!"
The foreman kicked the ground with his boot, hitched a thumb in his belt and shook his head. "Aw Sister, with all due respect, I can't do that. These men are hardened laborers that do a lot of rough work, day in and day out. They don't have to be gentlemen when they're on the job. Every once in a while, they're going to call a spade a spade—-you know what I mean?"
"But that's just it," the Reverend Mother replied, irritated. "They don't call it a spade. They call it a fucking shovel!!!"
|
|
|