Well, I've been in my new apartment in Lincoln for two weeks now and so far, all is going well I think.  I still don't have a job yet, and am at a strange place where people in my life are telling me to earn money with my art instead of getting a job, part-time or full-time.  There are some practical sorts who seem to think that getting a job at the local Natural Grocery may be a good safety net to keep me from getting evicted for failure to afford rent sometime down the road.  This kind of thinking nags at me.

The time and effort it takes to market one's art is at least proportionate to the time and effort put into creating it, if one is to make any money at all.  And if you are painting and "creating" to make money, is it creative at all?  Even though I have a mind to make money with it, I still visualize ideas for paintings and they are all visualizations that  were joyful to visualize.  Does this make any sense?  Does this make the art I create for sale less legitimate?  Should I call it something other than art?

I keep forgetting that I can make money teaching it too, and that at least keeps me painting, even if only small pieces that can be inexpensively framed, and hopefully sold some day as affordable originals.  I had a gift shop turn down small originals for sale unless they were each matted and framed professionally.  Do they know how much that costs?  I understand her reason for wanting to present them appropriately, as we would both profit and her shop would maintain it's integrity.  

I headed out yesterday with a boxful of small paintings with the intention of finding gift shops that would take them hanging individually in clear cellophane envelopes.  Once I got downtown and to the Haymarket area, I found my courage flagging and my insecurities coming to the forefront.  Maybe I should invest what little money I have left in getting some of the better pieces framed properly?  Then take them to a couple of galleries.  Why does this idea frighten me so much?  It sort of reminds me of how I felt the very first time I approached an artists guild with my work.  And again the first time I approached a Gallery owner to find out if I could show my work there.  My work has always been happily shown in the galleries I have worked with and I have made enough sales to know there are people out there who really like my paintings. 

I came home without having shown the paintings to one person.  I checked out the local senior center to see if it was a likely place to hold classes.  It was deserted.  Where are all the seniors at 1:00 in the afternoon - napping?  At any rate, I have to get this fear under control.  Apparently I put myself in these situations and I've always managed to work my way to a certain level of satisfaction until a new challenge presents itself.

Oh for the $7,000 a week for life from PCH!