Over the Rhine — B.P.D.
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Total ratings: 409
Length: 4:30
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You're makin' a mess
Somethin' I can't fix
This time you're on your own
I'd make it alright
But I wouldn't get it right
I'm leavin' it alone
For cryin' outloud
Cryin' outloud
Cryin' out
You're cryin' out
Yeah
You're makin' a mess
Is that what you do best?
Is madness just a hand-me-down?
It's anyone's guess
But I must confess
The performance isn't that profound
Yeah
I'm waiting for the end
Waiting to begin again
You're makin' a mess
Somethin' you can't hide
A slow suicide
Just one bite at a time
I should love you less
But I can't I guess
Only God can save us now
Cryin' out
Yeah
Somethin' I can't fix
This time you're on your own
I'd make it alright
But I wouldn't get it right
I'm leavin' it alone
For cryin' outloud
Cryin' outloud
Cryin' out
You're cryin' out
Yeah
You're makin' a mess
Is that what you do best?
Is madness just a hand-me-down?
It's anyone's guess
But I must confess
The performance isn't that profound
Yeah
I'm waiting for the end
Waiting to begin again
You're makin' a mess
Somethin' you can't hide
A slow suicide
Just one bite at a time
I should love you less
But I can't I guess
Only God can save us now
Cryin' out
Yeah
Comments (49)add comment
heliosweb wrote:
The classic description of this personality is "I HATE you!/ don't leave me"
phineas wrote:
The "Borderline" part refers to the disorder as being "on the borderline" between many of the other personality disorders, in terms of symptoms. This information is in DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), used by physicians/psychologists/psychiatrists to diagnose various disorders and illnesses.
You're right on target in that there is nothing "borderline" about the behavior of Borderlines. Very extreme, unpredictable mood swings, disociation, "black/white" thinking (everyone is either good or evil, no in-between), raging outbursts, extremely judgemental, controlling and manipulative behavior, inability to distinguish between their own private fantasy view of the world and reality, attempts to isolate loved ones from friends, sabotaging relationships, sometimes self mutilation (usually cutting)... the list goes on and on.
BPD is really one of the big "hidden" mental disorders, and the general public doesn't seem to be very aware of it, even though it's said to be more common in the population than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined. The majority of sufferers are women, and tend to have been abused, either physically, sexually or psychologically (or a combination thereof). The medical community is very much "behind the curve" in their approach to the disorder; many specialists in BPD say this is because the disorder is so hard to treat, insurance companies don't tend to want to pay for treatment, and thus there is very little funding for study of the disorder. There are even fewer resources for those in relationships with Borderlines, in terms of helping them to cope with it. (It's extremely stressful and disrupting to those close to Borderlines.) Although there are some good resources online with helpful information on coping techniques.
I know about this from personal experience, having been in a relationship with a Borderline. It was pure hell, and I thought at the time that I literally wouldn't survive it, the stress was so bad. Wish I could say I was clear of it, but we have a child together, so there's another 13 years or so to go. But at least she's not living under my roof anymore.
I wonder if any OTR members have commented publicly on this song and what's behind it. Anyone know?
steve
The classic description of this personality is "I HATE you!/ don't leave me"
The unexpected harmony in the bridge earned this an extra and much needed point.
I try not to comment on songs I don't like but... this is awful.
Borderline Personality Disorder? Ugh...
not.
lmic wrote:
lmic wrote:
Very S. Croweish.
This is a pretty new artist to my ears. This is the second song that I heard from this album on RP. And for the second time upon first hearing I gave it a 9 immediately!
Caused me to go looking for it - starting online with iTunes - but they won't sell it as a whole album for download - just individual songs (at least not in Canada). Had to special order it at my local CD store. Pick it up yesterday and its well worth it. In the 2 CD set, there wasn't a bad song and a whole lot of other 8s and 9s. OTR has produced a very well crafted album. Thanks, Bill!!
Caused me to go looking for it - starting online with iTunes - but they won't sell it as a whole album for download - just individual songs (at least not in Canada). Had to special order it at my local CD store. Pick it up yesterday and its well worth it. In the 2 CD set, there wasn't a bad song and a whole lot of other 8s and 9s. OTR has produced a very well crafted album. Thanks, Bill!!
Very S. Croweish.
Rowan-Ashe wrote:
Do yourself a BIG favor and buy this album. I am still so impressed that a double album can be this tight all the way through. Paste magazine gave this album its first "masterpiece" rating, and it is well deserved.
I really enjoy this song. I don't think I have even heard of this band. Yay for new stuff to listen to.
Do yourself a BIG favor and buy this album. I am still so impressed that a double album can be this tight all the way through. Paste magazine gave this album its first "masterpiece" rating, and it is well deserved.
I work as a psychologist, and indeed I must agree that BPD is a debilitating and chronic illness. I'd like to add that the stigma and connotation of being labeled a "borderline" does no good for the individual or any practitioner or associate of the person. All I'm saying is that we have to remember that, albeit difficult, maybe maddening, the person is an individual who has problems, strengths, loves, hates, and dreams, and fears like everyone else. AND more sophisticated treatments are now available. what was once held as a pretty intractable condition has evolved. If people are interested. Two of the leading figures in this area are Marsha Linehan and Otto Kernberg. DBT or dialectical behavior therapy is a multimodal treatment approach found effective with this type of person. It combines group therapy, skills training, and individual therapy - - an fyi if there are frustrated people out there wondering what to do.
many cities have DBT programs and TFP transference focused psychotherpy (Kernberg's treatment approach) is also growing in popularity.
good luck.
MCK
ps borderline originally connoted not the border between different disorders but "on the border" between connected to reality and psychotic. So originally these patients were often seen as schizophrenic, but ultimately assessed more thouroughly and found to only transiently lose grip on reality (often in a paranoid way when in context of intense stress like relationship loss) so that is the origin of the term.
many cities have DBT programs and TFP transference focused psychotherpy (Kernberg's treatment approach) is also growing in popularity.
good luck.
MCK
ps borderline originally connoted not the border between different disorders but "on the border" between connected to reality and psychotic. So originally these patients were often seen as schizophrenic, but ultimately assessed more thouroughly and found to only transiently lose grip on reality (often in a paranoid way when in context of intense stress like relationship loss) so that is the origin of the term.
Ah, I always think of my ex-wife when I hear this one.... A real nutjob...
This song does not fit into RPs rotation at all, sounds like an american idol contestant trying to win over the crowd.
her voice sounds a lot like country-esque Kasey Chambers of Australia. I like it. It sounds earnest.
grimid wrote:
Funny, I'm finding my mind drifting towards Mt. Adams!
Oh, man...I'm back at Bogart's on Vine in Cincy...thanks RP!
Funny, I'm finding my mind drifting towards Mt. Adams!
sdn wrote:
Wow, this is painful.
Oh, man...I'm back at Bogart's on Vine in Cincy...thanks RP!
Wow, this is painful.
Oh, her voice sucks.
hahaha...I checked in to comment how much I love this song and noticed that I did the same thing a couple of months ago. Oh well, I STILL love it! It's one of my favorites, because I sure have been there.
I really enjoy this song. I don't think I have even heard of this band. Yay for new stuff to listen to.
I'm excited that they are coming to Madison, WI on Nov. 27th. Whoo hoo! I've seen them several times and they are AWESOME each time:) My fiance and I have chosen one of their songs as the one we will dance to at our reception. Maybe we can get them to play it for us...
I've also heard Linford mention that about this song, about how they try to fix people and it doesn't always work. I love this song.
Over the Rhine has a brand new album that's great. Bill, please play something from it.
heliosweb wrote:
I wonder if any OTR members have commented publicly on this song and what's behind it. Anyone know?
steve
Hang in there, Steve, and take care of the kid. This doesn't have to crush your child, but it falls to you to do what you can for him/her. And thank the gods you escaped the prison alive. I do. I know what you mean. I came close to killing myself so many times. I give thanks every day that I'm free of that madness and that my child lives with me. I accept and I believe and I give thanks. I lived and my child lived.
My ex-wife was (and is) afflicted with B.P.D.
It's a terrible thing. Very similar to narcissism, which afflicts mostly men, BPD afflicts mostly women. Those who have it have horribly volatile relationships and they constantly do something called ''splitting,'' that is, they classify everyone as either someone they think is wonderful or as someone they hate. There's no middle ground in their thinking. They lack normal empathy with others and everything is filtered through their own needs. They throw horrible fits and most of their relationships end in a shambles. They place others in no-win situations emotionally and are compulsively selfish and manipulative.
I was married to that pitiful, destructive woman for 17 years. We have a daughter together, who now lives with me. Can you imagine the torment of having a dominating mother who behaves like this all the time? My poor kid, now 16, has been in therapy for six years with no end in sight. Her mother unintentionally but constantly torments her whenever they're together.
A terrible, terrible affliction. My pity upon anyone who has it, and especially to anyone who has to live around someone who has it.
heliosweb wrote:
I wonder if any OTR members have commented publicly on this song and what's behind it. Anyone know?
steve
In an interview with Linford for Looking Closer he was asked.....
On the subject of specific songs: What does the title of the first song"B.P.D."stand for?
"It stands for Borderline Personality Disorder.
That song is sort of a mental note that Karin wrote, but really it's a note for both of us. We have a habit of trying to rescue people in ways that are probably counterproductive. It's been a process of learning that not everybody who cries "Save me!" is interested in changing their life in any significant way. We've had to learn that through a couple of difficult experiences, but good and necessary experiences."
Beautiful CD from start to finish. 
I really like this....
Reminds me of the band Eisley.. which can only be a good thing!
Her enunciation is aggravating: she adds and drops syllables almost at random. Singing "mess" like it was spelled "emayuhs" is a bit too much.
heliosweb wrote:
The "Borderline" part refers to the disorder as being "on the borderline" between many of the other personality disorders, in terms of symptoms.........steve
Thanks for the background, h'web. It adds even more weight to this substantial song. I've been thru it with the parents. I hope things stay reasonably cool wt your family.
phineas wrote:
I have a sister-in-law who's been tagged with the "Borderline Personality Disorder" label. As far as I can tell, there's nothing borderline about it. 
The "Borderline" part refers to the disorder as being "on the borderline" between many of the other personality disorders, in terms of symptoms. This information is in DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), used by physicians/psychologists/psychiatrists to diagnose various disorders and illnesses.
You're right on target in that there is nothing "borderline" about the behavior of Borderlines. Very extreme, unpredictable mood swings, disociation, "black/white" thinking (everyone is either good or evil, no in-between), raging outbursts, extremely judgemental, controlling and manipulative behavior, inability to distinguish between their own private fantasy view of the world and reality, attempts to isolate loved ones from friends, sabotaging relationships, sometimes self mutilation (usually cutting)... the list goes on and on.
BPD is really one of the big "hidden" mental disorders, and the general public doesn't seem to be very aware of it, even though it's said to be more common in the population than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined. The majority of sufferers are women, and tend to have been abused, either physically, sexually or psychologically (or a combination thereof). The medical community is very much "behind the curve" in their approach to the disorder; many specialists in BPD say this is because the disorder is so hard to treat, insurance companies don't tend to want to pay for treatment, and thus there is very little funding for study of the disorder. There are even fewer resources for those in relationships with Borderlines, in terms of helping them to cope with it. (It's extremely stressful and disrupting to those close to Borderlines.) Although there are some good resources online with helpful information on coping techniques.
I know about this from personal experience, having been in a relationship with a Borderline. It was pure hell, and I thought at the time that I literally wouldn't survive it, the stress was so bad. Wish I could say I was clear of it, but we have a child together, so there's another 13 years or so to go. But at least she's not living under my roof anymore.
I wonder if any OTR members have commented publicly on this song and what's behind it. Anyone know?
steve
mrselfdestruct wrote:
You must be very flexible.
Indeed. It's why dogs lick themselves and perverted ex-presidents go after interns: because they can.
God, somebody shut this woman's caterwauling up!!
x wrote:
If I have to listen to this much longer I may go down on myself...
You must be very flexible.
A GREAT live band - when I saw them they played a 12 minute version of "Like a Radio" which gave me a case of the cold shivers.
Wow! - a great song, great production, and all positive comments! At least I think they're all positive...x wrote:
If I have to listen to this much longer I may go down on myself...
Roverfish wrote:
Thematically similar to Eels' 'Novacaine for the Soul' ("before I sputter out")... drove me nuts where I'd heard those chords before. Really nice song. I'm liking these guys.
Thanks for the background. I'm liking these guys too!
If I have to listen to this much longer I may go down on myself...
Thematically similar to Eels' 'Novacaine for the Soul' ("before I sputter out")... drove me nuts where I'd heard those chords before.
Really nice song. I'm liking these guys.
Funny, sums up the relationship I am trying to end......
Excellent album.
Thanks so much for playing OTR. I haven't seen them in a few years, but I used to make it a point to whenever they came in town. Great to hear them again!
Definitely an amazing song by an amazing band! If you're a doubter, see them in concert-you may change your mind.
We saw them a couple of weeks ago in Arlington & they sounded amazing live. Their older albums with Ric on them are also great, as well as Ric's band Monk.
Carissa wrote:
I'm told that 'B.P.D.' stands for 'Borderline Personality Disorder.' !
I have a sister-in-law who's been tagged with the "Borderline Personality Disorder" label. As far as I can tell, there's nothing borderline about it. !
AMAZING. Over The Rhine defies you to not like them.
This album (OHIO -- a double album!) is definitely worth its weight in chocolate. It's really good.
I'm told that 'B.P.D.' stands for 'Borderline Personality Disorder.'
Dig the genuine rock'n'roll payoff at the end of the song!
Wow! Good stuff - this caught my attention BIG time. Very cool.
OTR is a great band... from my hometown of Cinci!! Two thumbs up 
Great showcase for Karen\'s beautiful voice.
My ex-wife was (and is) afflicted with B.P.D. It's a terrible thing. Very similar to narcissism, which afflicts mostly men, BPD afflicts mostly women. Those who have it have horribly volatile relationships and they constantly do something called ''splitting,'' that is, they classify everyone as either someone they think is wonderful or as someone they hate. There's no middle ground in their thinking. They lack normal empathy with others and everything is filtered through their own needs. They throw horrible fits and most of their relationships end in a shambles. They place others in no-win situations emotionally and are compulsively selfish and manipulative. I was married to that pitiful, destructive woman for 17 years. We have a daughter together, who now lives with me. Can you imagine the torment of having a dominating mother who behaves like this all the time? My poor kid, now 16, has been in therapy for six years with no end in sight. Her mother unintentionally but constantly torments her whenever they're together. A terrible, terrible affliction. My pity upon anyone who has it, and especially to anyone who has to live around someone who has it.
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Co-dependency is a huge problem for the other party (us). Thanks for sharing.